by Coal

Gender: Male
Age: 37
Race/ethnicity: Black
Location: Europe
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Engineering
Relationship status: Open Relationship
Religious affiliation: No obvious affiliation
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Non-monogamous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0


How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One night stand’ish

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? European girl, was studying at an elite American university. Looked like typical American girl with advanced education from elitist university, let’s say, typical western girl with advance education from elitist university.
We had never met before. Met her at her place (her house), I was renting a room in the house she shared (with 2 other flatmates).
We bonded very quickly when, while discussing, it was revealed that we were both in an open relationship. What were the odds!!?

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She was studying psychology and was writing in sexology. While discussing the subject, I felt comfortable telling her about me being compersive and in a open relationship. 
We talked for hours about non monogamous relationships, safe sex, transparency, jealousy, time management, kids, marriage, race and at around 4 o’clock in the morning, she told me she had to go to sleep and we kissed and end up having sex.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I like to give oral sex but she did not like receiving it so I was “denied access”. She gave me oral sex. 
She was very experienced sexually. (later on I learnt that she had been with over 300 partners). We had vaginal sex and as I was about to cum, she stopped me and told me off (a bit violently) that she “was not ready!!”. I had never been told off, (not too mention in an aggressive(ish) tone). I really liked that she told me off…
We resume the sex (after a short reproof) and finished together.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condom was used. Being both in an open relationship, STI and pregnancy issues were discussed.
Furthermore she also practices S&M, so was very much aware of STI.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I liked her, physically and mentally. I was attracted to her.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No drug, no alcohol. A lot of talk before, during and after the sex.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hook up we stayed in touch via email and FB. Email each other every so often. I like her very much although I feel that we would disagree on many other subjects. She is a very interesting person to discuss with. I hope to meet her again and have sex (if she share the interest). 
I am very proud of her. She is what one calls “a little achiever”. She has a great career in her subject and I am very happy for her.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? The first person I mentioned about this hookup was my girlfriend. 
I emailed my girlfriend to tell her about the story. She was happy to hear about it. 
I hope they (my girlfriend and her) will meet one day. Although they are very different. One is a militant, the other one is in the closet of “open relationships”

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing was the long discussions before the sex, I like the sexual encounter. I like her breasts. They were nice. She had a nice muscled back and nice muscled legs, very nice tattoos.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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