What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Boston
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Non-profit
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? About 90
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’d met my friend’s roommate a handful of times. Adorable, burly, red bearded, outdoorsy guy. I’d noticed him before, but hadn’t thought too much about him, he being my friend’s roommate, but apparently he had thought about me.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We flirted a bit at the party and when I announced I was headed to karaoke, he surprisingly decided to come along. After a drink and my KILLER rendition of Don’t Stop Believing, he kissed me. We made out at the bar then walked back to my place. I’m polyamorous, and he’s met my husband, but was a little nervous about that. We talked about that since I like to be upfront that I have other partners. (And this one would be sleeping in the other room when we got back.)
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After some steamy making out, I made sure to have the safer sex conversation (STI status/when tested/what protection for what). And then clothes quickly came off. He ate me out until I came. (Not the most skilled, but pretty darn good.) I sucked his cock and then we fucked. After fucking for quite a while I made a comment to the effect of, Well, I’ve had four orgasms at this point, how can I give you one. He admitted he was feeling nervous about the whole my husband is in the other room thing. Not wanting to let this hook-up be one-sided, I gave a slow, intense blow-job and he came. We were both glowing afterward.
He slept over and in the morning we gave each other oral sex and came again.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Drank a lot of water and snuggled. He’s really great and fun, but he has a long-distance girlfriend with whom he has a monogomish arrangement – and I’m dating too many people to add on another. I hope I get to see him at the next party my friend throws at their house.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My husband got to meet him in the morning and I’ve told my friend/his room mate
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was awesome to feel so desired – being told I’m hot, that he’d been fantasizing about me since he met me months earlier.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? August heat
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? nope
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is far to stigmatized, especially for women and *especially* given how much of us do it. Being more open and less shameful about it can lead to some really fun sex and fantastic orgasms. Just because it’s casual, doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningful or have a real connection. I think back on many of my one-night stands or flings on vacation rather fondly.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it!
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!