by Jacrou

Gender: Female
Age: 45
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: New Zealand
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Company Director
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 31
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 4

Karma

How long ago did this hookup happen? 20 years

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was a young man I had literally met on the street 2 years before. Our first encounter is described in my story called ‘Hippy‘ which I’ve just shared.   We had a one night stand then that was amazing and led to us having a friends with benefits sort of arrangement where I saw him occasionally, sometimes to have sex, sometimes just to talk, have lunch together etc. He was a thin, beautiful and young-looking man, with long strawberry blonde hair and bright green eyes. 

I hadn’t seen him for a while and I think the last time I’d seen him I’d had a boyfriend so we’d just had lunch together.  Whenever he showed up he’d usually just appear on my doorstep (this was in the days before mobile phones). He was a free spirited hippy type of guy.

One day there was a knock at the door and my flatmate (a newish flatmate who hadn’t met this guy before) went to answer the door. She came into the lounge looking a bit perplexed and said there was someone here to see me.  I went to the door and found him standing there…… however in the intervening time he had become a hare Krishna.  He had shaved off his lovely strawberry blonde hair (except for that bit at the back) and was wearing the peachy apricot robes.  I greeted him and invited him in.  

He came in and sat in my lounge and we had a chat about what he had been up to, including of course the conversion to hare Krishna.  He told me a bit about what the religion involved and told me quite quickly that of course he no longer drank and no longer believed in sex before marriage.  I could deal with that and we had a cup of tea and a chat about things.  He ended up staying for dinner, luckily it was vegetarian already.

Anyway, just after dinner, a really unexpected and horrendous storm started up. Lightning and thunder and torrential rain. I asked him how he was getting to his mother’s place and he said he was planning on walking or hitchhiking. I didn’t have a car, and he didn’t have any money for a taxi. He also didn’t have any sensible clothes to put on over his robes.  As the storm continued I suggested to him that perhaps he should stay over at my place.  I offered him the couch.  He said he would sleep in my room (which of course he knew reasonably well) and that it wouldn’t be a problem because he was committed to his new religion. 

Bedtime came and I put pyjamas on to be kind and got into bed.  He took his robes off and he was just wearing this kind of loincloth thing.  He then did his yoga stretches wearing just his loincloth, including doing the splits (!).  Finally he got into bed and we turned the lights off etc.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? For a while we just lay there and I had rolled over to go to sleep. I was not going to do anything and was actually quite convinced that he wasn’t going to either, he had been quite adamant.  But after about 10 minutes, he just rolled over on top of me and began to kiss me without saying anything.  He took my pyjamas off and his loin cloth and I could feel how hard he was.  He felt even thinner than before.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had one bout of very plain missionary position sex without saying very much.  By comparison to the sex we used to have it wasn’t good at all.  There wasn’t the joy and the happiness, instead he seemed a bit angry.   He had an orgasm but I didn’t but it wasn’t about that.  He didn’t want to do it, but had given into his physical desire.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I was still on the pill. Still no precautions regarding STIs.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Old time’s sake I guess. He was someone who had been special in my life and I did truly care about him.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? None at all.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt a little sad afterwards,  that someone like him who had been full of joy and happiness and had been a beautiful and tender lover, who enjoyed himself so much could’ve convinced himself that it was wrong.  I also felt a little bit smug that he had been so sure he could control himself but hadn’t been able to resist it. 

In the morning he got up and dressed, and said goodbye. Before he left he said, we shouldn’t have done that and we will have bad karma now.  I thought it was sad. 

I never saw him in person again, but years later I saw him on television involved in a protest, with his wife and kids and he wasn’t a hare Krishna anymore.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? At the time I didn’t really tell anyone about what had happened.  My flatmates didn’t know this time because he’d made a big deal about being celibate and the sex had been quiet and brief. 

A few years later I was living in Scotland, and I started a new job working in a pub.  After my first week there I was involved in an initiation process (which I knew nothing about) where essentially they got me very very drunk by giving me drinks that were particularly dangerously alcoholic, and then grilled me skilfully for information they could use against me.  This involved a line of questioning about unusual sexual encounters and at this time I revealed that I had once had sex with a hare Krishna.  This became my little gimmick thing in the pub which the DJ would announce about me to the entire clientele of the pub, and often they would sing that Krishna Krishna hare hare song when I arrived at work. So they all knew about it.  They thought it was hilarious.  I apologise here for the insensitivity shown to those of the hare Krishna faith.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes consensual.  As for wanted, he was conflicted about it, as above.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, I don’t regret that it happened.  I’m more regretful that that was the way our friendship ended, but don’t blame it on the fact we had sex.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? This was a pretty neutral hookup.  The best thing was having a story that people enjoyed in the future and having an experience that most people won’t get to have. The worst was finding out that my gorgeous lover was gone.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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