What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 39
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Ireland, Laois
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Project Manager
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Knowing What’s Going To Happen
How long ago did this hookup happen? 15 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met her as part of a group spending the weekend together. We met on the Friday and there was chemistry on the first day, although we didnt hookup until the second night. I liked her but I had recently started a casual relationship with someone else – who was not there that weekend.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The chemistry was building a lot during the second day. Although I was holding back from pursuing anything as I felt I was seeing someone else. A good friend of mine (male, who introduced us) was suggesting that I pursue her regardless of what I felt. I didn’t need much convincing but was still unsure. We were drinking in the city for the evening. After we all returned to the house we were staying in we both stayed up until everyone else had gone to bed. We talked a lot and it was quite obvious that things were going to happen. I still was reluctant to make the first move – yet I knew something was going to happen. I can’t explain how I was so confident in knowing what was going to happen but I was so confident (note this would be my only ONS) that I excused myself, stated I was going to bed, and off I went upstairs- alone. However I knew she would have to pass my door – and knew she wouldn’t. I didn’t close the door – in fact I recall spending a bit of time choosing exactly how much to leave the door open – enough to be inviting but not too much to look to eager or obvious. I left it open a little less than 45 degrees and got into bed. Sure enough her head appeared around the door and she suggested talking. I responded “sure” and she came into the room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When she came in we talked and I suggested she get into bed, she did and we started kissing and fondling and undressing. She stopped me at first from removing her knickers. After a few more minutes making out she reached into my boxers and starting to play with me, at this stage I was obviously very strongly erect. I followed her initiative and reached into her knickers and started to play with her. After a few minutes I suggested “taking them off” and “putting something on.” She agreed, so I took of our remaining clothing and put on a condom, we started to fuck, afterwards I recall her stating (in broken English – she was a dutch exchange student), “you can keep it up a long time” – I think this was more a function of the drink desensitizing me at that time. We had sex again in the early morning and hung out (with the group) for the following day. We exchanged email addresses and had a habit of wishing each other happy new year for the next few years.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was very satisfied by it – possibly as much because my experiences would not have been that regular. There was no expectation after the event for future events as we were living in different places. I have fondness for her.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication, Peer pressure, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friend knew about it but it wasn’t talked about it
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The way it happened, I was very confident about it happening
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Slipped condom the second time- I was very concerned about it and I think it prevented anything else happening afterwards that night/morning.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me more confident in myself.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I have not had many casual partners, happy with what I’ve had but would see nothing wrong with more.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Excellent idea
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