What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Fort Lauderdale
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Call Center Operator
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Pantheist
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Labor Day Visit
How long ago did this hookup happen? Almost 4 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He has green eyes and dark auburn hair. We met the day before my birthday at sandwich shop some months before. I really liked him, I was really physically attracted to him even though there was a lot I didn’t know about him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He moved some hours away a few months before. He started texting me and planned to visit me at the end of the month. He told me he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me. He was just horny.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had sex and cuddled after. I felt more connected to him while cuddling than during intercourse. The sex itself was rather mechanical and I wasn’t confident enough to tell him what I liked and what I wanted. I gave him oral sex later. He was having a hard time cumming. He left me alone in the hotel room with no explanation and cut his visit short. He probably went to have sex with someone else.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt awkward and disillusioned. He dropped me off in the afternoon-I’m not even sure he said goodbye. I smoked a cigarette in order to try to make sense of what happened. I decided to stop texting him because I deserved more respect than what he was showing me. How he treated me showed me he didn’t care about me.I did get curious and did some background checks on him which answered some questions. I dealt with some periodic depressions. He got a girlfriend some months after visiting me, so I knew that he didn’t want me as his girlfriend. I wish him luck, but I don’t want him anymore.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one knows the details.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I learned to value myself more.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I felt a lot of shame and I had periodic depression.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think communication is very important in assessing a potential sexual partner.If you can’t agree on sexual expression then it’s best not to get involved with someone. I have had satisfying, healing sex with a casual sex partner, but ultimately casual sex is not something I want long term.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I haven’t had sex since then.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? As I stated before, communication is very important in assessing a potential partner. Talking beforehand can make a difference between an unsatisfactory and satisfactory session. Casual sex is about satisfying a basic need.I think many see it as a temporary fix. In some cases it can make what is missing in your life glaringly obvious,which can be a positive catalyst for change.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? When I heard about it on Ted Talks,I thought it could be healing mechanism for many people.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!