by Lisa

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Laidback Spanish Nights

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I came to Spain as an au pair and through an au pair known to my host family I met Drake. The first time I met him was in a park on a Saturday night. We all wanted to go out and had beer and sangria with us. I was really impressed by him. His parents are from India and he is the second person in his family to be born in England. Back then he was still with another girl but she soon left Spain. When she left I went out with him and a few other people. I was all eyes for his room mate who was also from England and didn’t care too much him. Only later that night did I find out he was with another girl from our group. We started talking more after that… Eventually he took me to my bus home. He kissed me on the way there. He was a really good kisser and I started to like him a lot. Drake was one of the few people I could talk to about anything. Unfortunately he and his friend where going on a road trip through Spain and France for a month so I didn’t get to see him for quite a while.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Drake was finally back in our Spanish city. And of course we wanted to see each other! It wasn’t supposed to be a date but it turned into one: we got drinks at our favorite place, walked around the city, talked about what we’ve done, what our plans for the future where. Before I saw him I KNEW what was going to happen. Eventually we got discount passes for a club. When we got there it was still quite empty so we went exploring. There were stairs … no one was watching … they led to a cloak room, a storage room, a back-back room. We went in and started making out. Drake is one of those people who ALWAYS has condoms with them. Emphasis on condomS.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were making out, it felt good. However, the room was very small and dirty, and dark. We went down there twice. The first time, he was on top. It was alright, nothing special sex-wise. Back then I had only had 4 sexual partners so didn’t have much to compare it with. It was just very exciting: this really cool guy, in this really cool city, with amazing weather, drunk, hooking up in the back-back room of a Spanish club. He was also still quite young (18) so he didn’t have much experience either. Afterwards we went back up to dance and have a drink. We started making out and got horny again… so we went back down the stairs. This time I was on top of him. I don’t remember how it was, but a bit better then the first time. Still, it was very exciting.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Later that night we met his friends and went back to their place. When it was time to go he took me to my bus. As we said good bye Drake kissed me. And I have to say: it was the BEST kiss ever. I have never had a kiss again that was this good. He told me he definitely had to see me again. I was really happy about it and started to have a huge crush on him. I knew this wasn’t going to lead to anything, since he was from England and I was not.
During the following weeks we got closer and closer. I came into the city to see him every single day afterwards. Eventually I left the family I was au pairing for to stay with him in the city (they didn’t agree with me going to the city every day). Close to the end he told me it felt more like a relationship than just fuck-buddies or friends-with-benefits. I still think those where the best weeks of my life. Everything was easygoing, relaxing, sex up to 5 times a day (I was so sore by the end), we went out almost every night.
After he left to go back to England I was really sad. I cried for three days straight but eventually got around it. I am going to see Drake in a couple of days again and I haven’t seen him for 4 years. You can’t imagine how excited I am!! And of course I know that this is not going to lead to anything.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Making new friends

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about it with the girl his room mate was sleeping with back then. She was quite thrilled about it! Couples night out!! And I told it to some of my friends after I came home. They seemed really interested!

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being with this wonderful person who made life seem easy and laid-back.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The way he would fuck me sometimes, just not the right rhythm.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes! I am more openminded and don’t have a problem with “fucking around”. It is also MY choice and my choice alone if I want to sleep with someone.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We would have sex in the wildest places, that back-back room of the club was one of them. Also various toilets. We almost had a foursome with his room mate and another girl. He didn’t want to, and I still don’t know why he was so strictly against it. I would have gone all the way.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Drake has shown me how much fun it is to have sex. I started my student life after I came home and was looking for casual sex. Mostly because I wanted to make lots of experiences, become good at sex. Throughout the years I have learnt one thing: don’t become fuck buddies who you find attractive and could be in a relationship with. You most likely will fall in love with them and they won’t always love you back. Only be fuck buddies with people you find somewhat attractive and would never ever want to be in a relationship with. In my college town it is really hard to find casual sex. Most people are just too up tight and word would get around… This is something I would like to see change.

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