What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 77
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? usa
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? engineer/professor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? J is about my age, well toned, active, fun, open and widowed. We met on some on-line dating site. We traded emails and phone calls. She lives a few miles away and occasionally came to my country club with another guy who lives here. Her pictures was all smiles and very inviting. I was instantly attracted. When I sent a picture, she saw the wedding ring and immediately said that there was no way she would continue. Fortunately she read the follow-up email that explained that I was in an open relationship and had been for more than 25 years. So she agreed to meet me. .
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My wife was going out of town for a couple of weeks to visit the kids. I called J and we agreed that I should come to her house in the evening. I went and we had a drink and chatted a bit. It was clear that we were a good match and that we were going to have sex. After an hour or so, I suggested that we go to her bedroom.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We undressed each other rather slowly, savoring each other as each piece of clothing came off. It was a surprise to me to see that she had a deep surgical scar in one breast that was the aftermath of cancer surgery 10 years before. I was not upset by that because I have seen several women with worse aftereffects, including one friend with one breast completely missing and no reconstruction attempted. J’s right breast was about 1/2 the size of the other and the nipple and areola were severely distorted. The intact breast was large and soft and wonderfully tempting. She said that she was quite the “sweater girl” back in the day, and I certainly believe that. We kissed and hugged and played with each other for a few minutes. Then I started a full body massage, head to toe with stops briefly in between. That took probably 15 minutes after which I concentrated on her genitals, licking and stroking. She had several light orgasms. She had told me previously that she was multi orgasmic. No kidding. I bet there were 5 in less than 10 minutes. None were screamers (like my wife), but all were quivering and obviously intensely satisfying. Then she wanted me to lie back on the bed in order to play with me. She immediately started oral. It was absolutely fantastic. A big part of the satisfaction for me was the obvious delight she was feeling at being able to give me such pleasure. Only a few of the other women I have been with were nearly as talented as J in this part of sex play, and none ever seemed to enjoy it so much. After a few minutes of oral, we were ready for vaginal sex. I got her on her back with a small pillow under her hips and penetrated her. It was among the most beautiful feelings I have ever had. Because this was the first time with J and because of all the foreplay, I didn’t last long. That was disappointing for both of us, but she never said a word about it.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After it was over, we cuddled and chatted for a long time. She was so warm and soft and tender, I could not help but be greatly attracted to her. She was a wonderful lover and a really fun person. We agreed that this one time shot shoud not be the last. So, the next week I went on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday evenings for a repeat encounter. We did it in many positions and a had a bit of anal play thrown in. Turns out that she was dating another guy and getting serious about him (She eventually married him) , so we didn’t meet again for about 6 weeks. But, nature being what iit is, we wanted one last tryst, so we got a motel for the afternoon and had a “good bye fuck”. We are still in contact via face book and email, but there will not be any more afternoon delights as long as she is married. I stll have very warm feelings for J. She was/is in my top 3 all time lovers (outside of my wonderful wife of 53 years)
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only my wife, who it turned out was a bit leery about having a lover so close to where we live. I respect that and will not have any more sexual relations with J
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Great sex. Wonderful new friend.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Bothering my wife about the proximity of J to our neighborhood. Potential for gossip.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? not at all.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I am a great believer in casual sex for those who are not hurt by it.. It has made our marriage much better. For the first 20 years, we had a pretty low-key sex life, sometimes bordering on dull. After we started the open relationship, all that changed and we have had a GREAT sex life at home for 33 years.Learning things about sex from other people was a good side effect, and discovering that there is NO ONE else that we would even consider wanting to live with was even better! Both of us have had great sex with other partners, but marriage is SO much more than sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Wonderful idea! Americans need to get over this faux-puritanism that screws up our psyche.
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