What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Mover
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 or 6 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Her name was Viviana. She’s a short petite Latina who is twice my age. I’ve always preferred older women so she was perfect for me, with a killer body. Sexiest lay I’ve ever had. She was a member of my church and was pretty smitten with me when I broke up with my ex. As soon as she realized I was single she turned on the charm and I knew she was a perfect comeback woman from my previous girlfriend, Michelle. We flirted and told each other stories on where we were in our lives and we went further because we both liked what we saw and what we heard.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Viviana came to me as soon as she realized I wasn’t with her friend and my ex Michelle anymore. We kissed a bit after church, but realized we needed to take this elsewhere. The tryst was very improvisational as we had erratic schedules but we made time to make love and satisfy each other’s other needs. Viviana was a tease though. I instigated the sex, which she had no problem with. We had sex at her place but we had sex at my place once and in public a good 3 times (once at a halfway house when we visited her friend, once in a dressing room and once at a remote park.)
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She blew me many times and we also had vaginal sex repeatedly (despite being in her 40s we tried to conceive later in the relationship). I craved giving her anal but she insisted on safe sex or no anal sex. So I complied (originally this applied to other sex until we tried for children). I felt amazing that this older woman was sexual and passionate, as my previous older lovers were cold fishes or just slow starters. Viviana was a doll and we talked about moving in eventually. Adopting a kid after conceiving naturally was impossible. However during the tail end the love died out and all there was between us was animalistic sex. I’m glad I ended it and all attempts to reignite our passion has failed since her tune never changed.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I fell for Viviana big time after our first sexual tryst and I saw her as a girlfriend. However she tended to keep a lot of male friends around and had a male roommate who while I have no proof wouldn’t put it past her if she was playing me and actually saw him as her bf. I’ve tried to reconnect with her though we both moved far away from each other and after being incredibly callous when I told her my dad died recently I now only think of her when I’m desperately lonely not in a hopeful let’s settle down like we planned way.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Condoms, We wanted to try to have a kid. Though condoms were used in the beginning, STIs weren’t brought up specifically
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one my mom already saw me go through two flings with older woman so me with a third one and spending a lot of time with her would’ve been a red flag to her.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I loved her far more than she loved me and it went no where and I felt used and out of control at the cost of my morals
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? She was amazing in bed but honestly Viviana was at her best (and worst) when it came to sweet talking and flattering me. She always cheered me up sexually and emotionally… but only temporarily to the latter.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Despite all the apparent reciprocation of devotion I was clearly more devoted to her than she was to me. Especially when it came to transportation as I had no car and also had to take two trains to see her eventually while her roommate had a car.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I realized I’m incapable of sex and NOT developing feelings for the girl.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Good sex bad relationship basically sums up this hook up and is the tldr version.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Do whatever you want. Just don’t shame me as a “prude” because I tried casual sex and wasn’t up to it. It’s very annoying that people can call me a prude but I can’t call them a slut (not that I would but please no double standards).
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? meh, it’s there if ya want to post. I myself am apathetic I just needed to post this somewhere for myself.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!