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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Bridgeport
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Yoga Instructor
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: I believe in the infinite creative power of the universe.
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I don’t truly fit any label except for open minded
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? eek….too many to count exactly, at least 15.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? this is my first one
Lesbians like Penetration
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 monthes ago
What was your relationship status at the time? open relationship
How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met Brita* (fake name) at the bar recently after turning 21. Using my gay-dar I pinpointed the tomboyish tattted darked haired lady who walked to the bar with her pitbull was very likely a lesbian. Having recently split from my boyfriend for a year in a half, primarily because I wanted to pursue my sexual interest in woman, I was eyeing her.
Her male friend, Ray* (fake name) came into the picture the first night I hooked up with Brita. It was her birthday, and we went to the same bar I had met her at. After extensive longing, my wish came true as she pulled me in close and said “can I kiss you”, which throughout the night lead to me eating her out in the pantry of another one of her friends apartment.
Both Brita and Ray were mid thirties ex heroin addicts. Being a yoga teacher, with a specialization in addiction rehabilitation, I wanted to save them from any demons that were still lingering in their souls.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Later that week I met up with Brita and Ray at the anniversary party for a local smoke shop. Well, at least I hope to meet up with both of them. I waited patiently drinking a beer, to find online Ray showed up. He stood by my side the whole party as we played corn hole and got to know each other a little more. While there Ray tells me he got mushroom chocolates from his friend, and offered me a bite. Being easily swayed and insecure at the time, I hesitantly agreed. I dont believe I fully realized how loose I was feeling from the mushrooms until after the threesome.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I remember trying to leave before we started hooking up, because Brita was upset about her ex girlfriend, and I did not want to hear it. I sat on the porch trying to decide if I should stay or go. “What kind of experiences would I miss if I left? I really want to get to know Brita more” I thought to myself. Ray came out and asked why I left, then insisted Brita wanted me to stay. I’m a little foggy on what happened in between. That’s the experience I’ve had with all four of my threesomes… they haven’t been premeditated on my part, I go with the flow and suddenly find myself in them. I remember making out with Brita, then dry humping, fingering and eating each other out, all of which we had done together before. What was different this time is that Ray was in bed next to us. Brita had spoken about how Ray would sleep in bed with her at night because she didn’t like to be alone. James took out his cock and started to jerk off. Brita whispered to us “I want you to fuck her” and then said to me “is that alright with you?” to which I responded “yes” and then got on my knees so I could continue to eat out Brita while he fucked me without a condom. Since she was a lesbian, I assumed this was the only kind of intercourse that would continue. I was in for another surprise as she said to Ray “ok I want you to fuck me know” which caught both Ray and I off guard. She further explained “I’ve only ever dated girls, but I like the feeling of penetration. Nothing feels quite like it.” Without questioning it further Ray and I went with the flow as we changed positions. He fucked her, she moaned, and I made out with her while rubbing myself. Brita and I came, I don’t remember if Ray did, but I know he was a very happy man afterward. All of us felt simultaneously pleased and slightly confused as we laid in bed snuggling with me in the middle. In that moment I felt so much love.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt high off the experience the next day. Prior to this experience I only had one threesome which left me feeing emotionally distraught, jealous, and made me question if I ever wanted to have a threesome again. I felt great knowing I could have a positive experience of this fantasy, and excited about how unique the situation was considering it was with a lesbian and a straight male. At this time I was really hoping for Brita and I could get past the age difference of me being 21 and her being 33. I wanted a relationship with her. Ray could be our fuck buddy. Within the coming weeks they offered for me to move in with them because they had available rooms in their apartment, and my house was in forclosure. It didn’t work out being I was promiscuous and had sex with someone else who would be moving in as well. I was hurt that Brita no longer wanted me to move in, but now I see it as a huge blessing in disguise because I realized surrounding myself with people in their thirties who are barely settled down and party throughout the week is not a healthy friend group for me. Ray went back to rehab, and from what I heard is thriving in a sober home. Brita is officially dating the girl she was talking about the night of threesome. I wish them both the best.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Hallucinogens (LSD, mushrooms, DMT…)
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Hallucinogens (LSD, mushrooms, DMT…), Heroin
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Fastforward a few weeks and I’m on a vacation with my ex boyfriend. He looked through my phone and saw Ray had texted me something dirty. He asked if I wanted a picture of his cock and I said “its not like I haven’t already seen it”. My ex got really upset with me because I had told him the details about this new friend and their past addictions. “Did you at least use protection?”. I answered truthfully, no. He responded truthfully “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. THEY WERE HEROIN ADDICTS, WE COULD BOTH HAVE AIDS”. For the first time since the experience I felt shame for how stupid I had been with my poor judgment. I do not keep in touch with Brita and Ray, and I feel guilty for putting someone who I really care for at risk. Him and I have since gotten tested, and fortunately tested negative for STI’s. Still, I know that means we just got lucky, and I hope I will be smarter with my decisions regarding safe sex in the future.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing was how unique the situation was in regard to sexual orientation.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The worst thing was that we didn’t use protection, which was really sketchy since both partners had been heroin addicts.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me realize how fluid sexuality is, and how sexual preference and relationship preference can be different. Brita only dates girls and has no interest in dating men, but she’s okay having sex with men.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex can be very liberating. For me, in these moments of sexual passion I experience a sense of freedom and excitement towards my body and the beauty of sexuality. My favorite thing about casual sex is when it feels like a flow of the moment experience. I would love to see the terms “Slut” and “Whore” not used to describe woman who are trying to experience that freedom. We own our bodies, and with consent from others are allowed to explore them however we choose, albeit it is wise to use protection if you are not familiar with this persons sexual history.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think the Casual Sex Project helps bring awareness to how people pursue their sexuality in a way that research can’t. No number can fully depict casual sex in society, only stories can do that.
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