by MartB

Gender: Male
Age: 54
Race/ethnicity: Anglo Irish
Location: UK
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Global Project Management
Relationship status: Finished long term relationship but am now in a distance relationship
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Not against same sex relationship but not sure I am interested enough to experiment
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 40 – 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Let’s Stop There

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1.5 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One Night Stand (+1)

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We were work mates going back a few years but not at the time. She had divorced from her husband about two years earlier and was active in online dating and casual relationships. Harsh but true, she probably has an inflated view of her youthful looks and this turned out to be an issue.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were chatting a lot via IM about her various disastrous relationships. There was no intention to take it any further as I wasn’t really attracted to her and she was definitely giving off the wrong impression to her other partners.
Not sure either person instigated it but at the clinch I was probably more keen.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It all began when I went around to cook dinner for her as a friend. I was concerned about the type of guys she was hooking up with. While we were there I had a sneak insight to the person underneath the bravado and was temporally smitten. As I was leaving things turned affectionate and we ended up in bed. 
Sexual behaviour mainly me giving oral and a very small amount of penetration.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We didn’t use precautions and hence only the briefest penetration.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Accidental fun, there were no intentions (well, not on my side).

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? A little alcohol but we weren’t plastered (both within reasonable consciousness).

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? At first it felt good. I enjoyed it, mainly because I felt I slept with the real person and not the impressions she had been trying to give to the world. Sadly this didn’t last. Initially she was not keen to meet up again but then suggested a few dates.
In short – Evening good, sex good, after taste bad.
How do I feel about the person – bluntly – a lost cause (at least for me, maybe someone else is happy to live with the act)

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Non-one

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for me, probably more reservations on her behalf initially but certainly not forced upon her.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes. We did have sex one more time but I was already starting to feel bad about it. I felt I had been naive and the person would never reveal her true self to the world and I was only interested in the real person. So what was a good evening in retrospect felt like an unnecessary mistake.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? BEST: Definitely discovering the real person behind the mask if only for a few hours. It was nice to know my hunch was right. 
WORST: Coming to the realisation the person would never change and that my hopes were naive.
My views on casual sex have not changed and I hope to do the same again someday but maybe with someone I didn’t know. I hope I will be more truthful with myself before setting expectations.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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