What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 56
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Africa
What country and/or city do you live in? Cape Town
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Surveyor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Open to ideas
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Long After School
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a girl, now a woman, that had been at my school decades ago. I could still recognize her although she had become more ‘curvy’. Strangely, normally I am not attracted to bigger bodied women, but she more than made up for lack of film-star looks or athletic body with her positive attitude towards the enjoyment of sex. She knew hat she wanted and made sure I knew.
She was divorced and had had two sons. I was married with 3 kids. We didn’t know each other well, even at school, but met via the internet on a website for our school. I’m a year older, and I suspect at school she might have had a crush on me, although I’d been oblivious and was dating someone else. Before the internet chats, I was blissfully indifferent, unaware of her life.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She traveled across the country to stay in a B&B close to my hometown. The planning was all from her side. She had ‘business’ in the area (so she said); she was considering moving home and was looking at properties. All I had to do was turn up at the B&B doorstep on the arranged day.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Her clothes were coming off almost before the door shut. About 10 seconds after seeing her, I was licking her nipples. We stripped and made love – missionary, side by side, oral (giving and receiving), doggy style, for hours. We had a breakfast/brunch and went at it again. She was insatiable, and that was a big turn on for me. Her passion was contagious.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We showered and I left. Next day, I felt fine. Satisfied. That was a no-strings encounter, although we would/could hook up anytime again. She still lives 1000’s of km’s away, so we have only managed to see one another twice since. Both those times were as intense, sexually. I am fond of her, not in love though.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Totally uninhibited sexual pleasure given and taken. We both put effort into pleasing the other and were rewarded in turn.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Suspicious wife…
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It encouraged us to have more of the same, but not often.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe it has a place to spice up married life without destroying it. This was not going to be an emotional relationship, only a physical one.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!