by Miss M
Location: South Africa
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
Occupation: Web/Graphic Design
Religious affiliation: Spiritual
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Kinky
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 months
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends with benefits
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met via a mutual friend and from the 1st meeting there was an undeniable attraction. We hooked up about once a month for more than a year and I was addicted. I would drive 4 hours to be with him and we’d get down to funky monkey business. He was easy and fun to be with, laid back and he had a great sense of humor, plus the most gorgeous off-center smile.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at a music festival while he was dating someone. Nothing happened until about 6 months later. While I was planning to visit our mutual friend, she mentioned that he’s been single for a while and I just knew we were going to hook up. A group of us went out to paint the town red and one thing led to another… We were passionately kissing on the dance floor like a couple of teenagers. We clicked sexually and it was orgasmic.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Funnily enough… Even though I enjoy kinky stuff 😉 this was the most gratifying sexual experience without introducing ropes and paddles. He was less experienced than I was sexually and he flourished because there was no judgement from my side. He was an excellent lover and I orgasmed 90% of the time. He read me like an open book and was always eager to please which made me eager to please him. We used to talk during, before, and after. Laughing about butting our noses during a kiss, how he only had 1 condom our 1st night together and things like that. He was such a gentleman when we were together that I ended up developing deeper feelings.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We did discuss STIs and initially used condoms and birth control pills later on.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I’d been celibate for 3 years after a bad relationship and he was the 1st guy I was really, truly attracted to.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, not every time and not much. The occasional drink and sometimes weed.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After several hookups he called it off, having met someone else. A couple of months into his new relationship he started texting me “I miss you.” We started seeing each other again when he broke it off. Even though I still had feelings for him it felt different. The sex was the same but I felt disappointed in him and this was affecting me negatively. After our last encounter, I stopped all contact with him. He’s happy now and in a relationship with someone else and I’m happy for him. Sounds corny, I know… I hope to visit our mutual friend in the future when my emotional equilibrium is restored with regards to him.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friends. They were supportive and honest and were there to dry my tears.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Very consensual and wanted experience for both of us.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I have no regrets. I am grateful for the experiences we had together.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was how we were so natural together, he met my expectations and exceeded them in most areas. The not committing part was the worst. He was looking for sweet and innocent while I was the opposite (except for the sweet part). I’ve found that I’m not that into casual encounters and need a fulfilling relationship on all levels and not just some. I learned to not settle for being a booty call or friend with benefits.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Since then I’ve decided to explore my kinky side a bit further and come to realize I really enjoy BDSM aspects, more on the sensual side than the pain. I am currently in a relationship with a fellow kinkster and it’s going well.
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