What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 57
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? US
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Engineer
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
Long Term FWB
How long ago did this hookup happen? 10
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was about 5’5”, hair died red, 38C, a little over weight. Very pretty and nicely shaped.
I was out by myself doing a bar run Saturday night at camp during hunting season. Hadn’t seen anything interesting and was heading back around midnight. The last bar I passed still had a couple vehicles so I thought I’d check it out.
I took a seat and grabbed a beer. She was sitting at the other end of the bar and was obviously with another guy. She kept looking my way with very flirty eyes and twirled her hair from time to time. She looked very neglected.
Soon her guy got up and left. The bar started clearing out and she kept looking over, almost staring. Of course I had to move over by her and strike up a conversation. The guy was her date, but they came in separate cars and nothing was sparking between them.
We talked about an hour and agreed to meet there again for lunch the next day.
We got together a couple of times that week with nothing happening. I was upfront with her right away that I was married. She was disappointed, but still seemed interested. I certainly didn’t want a women to find out later and take revenge by tracking down the wife.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After spending time together over a couple days I think we both knew the hookup was about to happen. No planning involved. I agreed to pick her up at her place and go to dinner. After dinner and a few drinks we returned to her place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We sat on the couch and started kissing and making out. I was pleased to find she had no bra on under her bulky sweater. I took that as a sign. She soon asked if I wanted to go back to her room. Of course I did!
We both stripped down and continued making out on the bed exploring each other. It didn’t take me long to go down on her and I soon had her cuming.
As I returned to kissing her and readied myself to slip in I thankfully discovered she had condoms on her headboard. I paused long enough to slip one on and began to slowly fuck her. It didn’t take long to figure out she liked being pounded hard. As she began to cum again I let loose in the condom.
We cuddled for a long while catching our breath, continuing to explore each other. After a few hours I dressed and headed back to camp for the night.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The guys staying at camp with me all went home the next day so I was on my own for the rest of the weekend. I basically spent the next two nights at her place fucking our brains out. After some discussion we figured the condoms weren’t necessary.
We continued a relationship for the next five years. I saw her a couple weekends a year and a whole week during the fall. Some days we all but got out of bed.
I knew she wanted more, but she knew I wanted to stay married. We enjoyed each other when we could meet, including a couple weekends we traveled together.
She dated several guys during this period looking for a serious relationship. When she would get serious she’d cut off the sex until he drifted on. This happened several times and I’d usually hang out with them. She ended up marrying the last one and I respectfully stopped seeing her. We’re still connected on social media, but nothing more than knowing we still exist and a happy birthday here and there. I oils to rule out booking up sometime in the future if anything changes in our lives.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Sterilization, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? The guys at camp. They knew about us and were supportive. They met her many times over the five years.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex and finding a long term FWB. She also taught me a lot about how a woman wants to be handled in bed. I’m surprised my wife didn’t ask where I learned some of that shit at. Guess she thought I was watching porn?
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Wife eventually found out we were close friends and may have had sex. I’ve always denied it.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. I’ve always been on the look out for a willing partner and have hooked up when things have fell in place.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I’m always on the lookout for a similar situation, but trust is not easy to find and I’m very particular.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’d like to see it more accepted. Relationships don’t have to be monogamous. Just because you have sex with someone, it doesn’t have to mean you want a long term exclusive relationship. As long as all of this is discussed up front between consenting adults.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Awesome.
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