by Janice

Gender: Female
Age: 21
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: NYC
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Nanny/student
Relationship status: Committed in a monogamous relationship
Religious affiliation: Spiritual/christian
How religious are you? Very
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Longtime Hookup Buddies Finally Get To 3rd Base

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? His name is “Rob”.  Hes of Dominican descent.  Curly short hair, nice brown eyes, athletic build and a killer smile.  I met him in my first year of college in my sociology class and we had become pretty friendly, pretty quickly (within a month of hanging out).  We hooked up on and off for a year before it finally happened (as i was a virgin when I met him).  I liked him, we had good chemistry.  It was never more than a hookup because he had a gf on and off for three years whom he was with when I met him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Before the official hookup, I had recently lost my virginity and I guess you could say it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and sort of let the cat out of the bag so to speak. Once I lost it, I wasn’t afraid of doing it and I didn’t have any concerns or worries about it so there was really nothing stopping me from having it anymore.  So my new boyfriend and I at the time had not been getting along too well and had very busy schedules (he did) and also had not done “it” yet.  I was feeling lonely and unwanted, and there was Rob.  He was my best friend at the time and he would often invite me to hang out and accompany him to parties and stuff.  This one night, I was pretty peeved about my bf leaving to go work late, yet again, and sure enough I get an invite to a party from Rob.  So I meet him at this party and needless to say, I get wasted ( I am a pretty heavy drinker).  I was getting a little jealous and territorial as he was noticing other girls and seemed to want to dance with someone.  So shocker, we end up dancing on each other and in no time we find ourselves in the host of the party’s laundry room stripping off our clothes.  Does this sound planned!? It was not if your wondering!

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We did a stand up version of missionary with me leaning/laying on a washing machine with my left leg on his shoulder.  I was really feeling it as I was drunk and was finally releasing all of the sexual tension that had been building up for the past year of not going all the way.  At first he was hesitant as it was pretty sudden and a big step for us but as I motioned him on,something just clicked in him to throw me on the washing machine and get it on.  After that, we did doggy for awhile which led to him finishing all over my booty. It was good sex, not the best I’ve had, now comparing it to post lovers but definitely good.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t as I was pretty inexperienced at the time and it wasnt long enough for us to experiment that much.  We were in somebody’s washroom!  He definitely finished.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We had discussed STIs and that stuff long before as this was a year in the making.  Yet, we used no protection so I took the plan b pill not long after.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was pretty lonely, sad and felt unwanted by my boyfriend.  It was with my good friend with benefits whom i trusted and still trust.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, lots of shots.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was pretty upset, and dumbfounded that i could do that to my boyfriend.  I don’t have any expectations or hopes with Rob, a lot has happened with him and I intimately that has made our relationship very complicated even to this day.  I love him as a person and wish him all the best yet I doubt it will ever be with me and for good reason.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my sisters about it which turned out to be a huge mistake and learning lesson to keep my mouth shut when it comes to this kind of stuff.  They were supportive yet so disapointed in me as they grew to love my boyfriend as a person.  NEVER AGAIN.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual although If I had been sober, I highly doubt I would have agreed to that.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes, I do.  It started a roller coaster of emotions, trials and tribulations I would’ve wished not to go through.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made Rob and I closer as friends and showed me how much of a true friend he really is to me beyond the sex.  It changed my idea of who I am a bit.  That night I think I gave Rob a part of me.  The part of me that wished and prayed for my prince charming to come rescue me.  I thought all I ever wanted was that one man who could complete me.  Turns out, it wasn’t what i wanted at the time.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Its been somewhat therapeutic sharing this experience with whoever ends up reading this.  Not sure what this study is intended to prove or support but I hope my story has shed some light on something.

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