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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 31
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60-70
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none

He Loved Eating Pussy

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this guy on my birthday while out with friends at a bar. I had never seen him before; I had just moved to a new city a few weeks prior. I saw him standing at the bar with friends, and was immediately attracted to him. He was over 6′ tall, tattooed, bearded, and well-dressed in dark pants, Converse, and a casual button up shirt. I figured he was over 35 (at least) because his hair and beard were salt and peppery- which is a major turn on for me.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was the instigator. I walked over to him, said hi, and told him I liked his shirt. We started talking small talk, I talked to his friends, and then he invited me to a party at one friend’s apartment. I went with him, we partied for a little bit at his friend’s house, but there was a woman there who was annoying us both (we were exchanging looks about it) so he and I left and went back to my place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got to my place, went to my bedroom, started taking off our clothes while kissing, and fell onto the bed. Almost immediately he went down and started licking my clit. I thought, “Oh, okay, nice. He’s probably doing it to get me wet (thanks for thinking of me!) and he’ll probably want a blowjob after.” Then he started licking my pussy, but I mean really going after it – moaning, breathing heavy, really into it. He fingered me for awhile while licking my clit, and then grabbed my thighs and pulled me closer and upward a little and licked from back to front. I’m talking asshole to clit, y’all. I was like, damn! He’s really good at this, and he really fucking loves eating pussy which is quite possibly one of the hottest things to me. So, I thought, “If he loves burying that face with his salt and pepper beard in between my thighs so much, maybe he’ll also love it if I wrap my legs around up over his shoulders and squeeze him with my thighs a little…” That sent him over the edge. He moaned and reached up with one hand to grab my tit and the other hand smacked and squeezed my ass. So fucking hot. After what felt like him going down on me for hours, at which point I was gushing wet, he came up, grabbed the condom I had sat on the bedside table and fucked me missionary until he came. He started slow and deep and then as he was about to cum he switched pace and fucked me harder, taking my wrists and holding them above my head. When he finally came, he came very loudly – all growling and moaning – which I found to be another turn on for me (unexpectedly).

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we talked via text a few times and ended up hooking up a couple more times over the next month and a half. I felt great because I was excited that I had met a great fuck buddy so quickly after moving to a new city. Expectations for the future were nill. I did not want a relationship, mostly because I found out over the course of the month and a half that he used cocaine more frequently than I was comfortable with, and was just not very “good on paper.” Not someone I could see myself with long-term. He ended up dropping off the face of the earth (ghosting) after our last hookup. He left my house saying, “I’ll text you later, and we’ll hang out,” and then never called or text again. I text him a couple of times with no response, and then deleted his number. I was little hurt, just because I think that’s impolite, but I have no idea what his circumstances are so I try not to judge. If I ever see him again, I’ll say hello, but that’s about it. No hard feelings.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just girlfriends. They reacted positively, happy that I had found a sexually compatible partner for casual sex.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing was obviously M2F oral sex. It’s just so rare that I find a man willing to do it on the first night, much less one who is so damn good at it, and clearly loves doing it and is turned on by it.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The end of the month and a half -him just disappearing without an explanation.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? After this hookup, I stopped hooking up for about three months. It’s somewhat of a pattern for me, I do binge-hookups. lol Sometimes I feel very sexual, sometimes I prefer just to satisfy myself when I’m single and not mess with dealing with other people’s whims and emotions. But no, nothing about this particular hookup changed then way I think about casual sex, sexuality, or myself in general.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? none

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex for women is seen differently than casual sex for men; women are shamed, men are not. I think there is an orgasm gap in casual sex where women have less orgasms than men, and that needs to change because it’s bullshit. Men need to stop letting porn dictate their expectations and/or be their sex ed. I think doctors need to stop shaming when they counsel patients who disclose that they have had many casual sexual partners. I understand the need to ensure that they educate folks on their risk for STIs/HIV, but if they’re doing it safely, then lay off. I’m thankful that I’ve had as much sex as I have, and experienced so many different types of people, because it allows me to understand what’s out there, and I appreciate my partner 1000 times more. I know him and I are a fantastic match, that we have amazing sexual chemistry, and I am not tempted at all by another because I know what else is out there; I know the grass is not greener. I am on the side of the fence with the greener pastures, so to speak. lol I think that generally, for me, I’m glad to hear my partner is experienced, and don’t feel shame letting him know I am also, because it makes us better lovers, and we know what to explore with one another, and how to communicate about it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great! I love reading the stories. I think it does a lot to de-stigmatize human sexuality, desires, and urges in a broader sense. We need to talk more about sex and sexuality. Thanks, Dr. Z! I also enjoy your Periscopes.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!