by

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 47
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Sydney
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Transport
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Enthusiastic
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Over 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 4

Lovemaking at a Sex Venue

How long ago did this hookup happen? Three days ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Random hookup at a Sex-On-Premises Venue

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a little shorter than me, his build is what I’d call “chunky”. He was slightly overweight, but even without that he would have been stocky. Short, dark hair. I think he was Asian, but as most of this took place in darkness or semi-darkness I can’t really tell. His skin was lovely and smooth, his lips and nipples were soft and sensitive and his dick was not too long, but nice and thick. He had magic hands.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup took place in one of the gay sex-on-premises venues in Sydney. Now, I don’t always like going to SOP places. I have nothing against them for those that enjoy them, but in my experience, when you go to one, it is often full of hot, toned guys who just want to be admired. Now, I’d be hypocritical if I said that looks didn’t mean anything to me BUT in my time I’ve had sex with many different men and women and I often don’t go for the gorgeous model-looking types. In my experience, those kind of people often only want to be with other people who look like them, and it’s as much a trophy thing as anything else (“Look who I’m with”). I have sex because I want to have a fun, intimate time with another person, to make them and myself feel good. I don’t do it because I want to boast about how I had a woman or man who looked like a supermodel. So if someone who’s absolutely conventionally gorgeous talks with me and we get on and they’re genuinely nice, of course, I’ll have sex with them. But as I’m not in that category, this very rarely happens (if ever) and I don’t mind that. But who needs to go to an SOP venue and be judged purely on looks? This is all by way of preliminary explanation.
Now, if you’ve read some of my previous stories, you know I have a friend with benefits. He lives outside of Sydney but was in town for work and we were going to meet up later that evening. But I happened to get off work early, so I called him to see if he could too. As it happened, he was already planning to, and had planned a visit to this SOP venue. He wanted to go because although he’s quite a confident guy, he confided in me that he felt very insecure putting himself out there like that (and – I’m extrapolating here – I think the fear was a bit of a turn on for him). So I said sure, I’d go, if only for a little while. He said if we couldn’t find anyone we liked, we could always meet up in one of the rooms and take care of each other. So off we went.
We showered, tried the spa for a while, then went our separate ways. (I should explain that in this venue, you have to leave your clothes in a locker and only wear a towel as you walk around, so it’s basically like being naked.) The venue wasn’t crowded as it was a workday afternoon, but there were a decent number of people there. I found myself in an area called “The Dark Room”, which is exactly what it sounds like. It’s quite awkward actually because visibility is almost nil and I had to feel my way around very slowly. In one corner, I felt a body. I started touching and felt lips kiss my own. We made out for a while, and a third guy joined in. (This is not the hookup I’m writing about.) The first guy (older, white hair, moustache) asked if I’d go to a room and fuck him – I had to tell him I really wasn’t into anal, but he persuaded me to go to a room anyway. We kissed for a while, I sucked him a bit, he thanked me and complimented my technique (which was nice of him – i didn’t think I did all that well) and then we parted. I drifted back to the Dark Room which is where I met the guy I hooked up with.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? So I felt my way over to the same corner of the room, slightly more confidently than the previous time. There was no one there, so I just stood and waited. A few people drifted past and I let my fingers trail over them as they passed. No one complained, and a couple of them slowed to let me touch their chest, but most moved on. Then he appeared.
I think (but am not 100% sure) that he was a guy I’d seen near the entrance, who’d arrived about the same time as me and my FWB. His build was certainly the same as the man I’d seen, Anyway, I brushed his nipple and he moaned very softly. I rubbed it gently, then bent down and sucked it into my mouth. He started running his hands up and down my sides. His touch was incredible – soft and gentle yet firm and confident. He backed up against a wall and I raised my head from his breast and found his lips. They were soft and sensual and I kissed him passionately. We stood together kissing, caressing each other all over. He touched and pitched my nipples softly (my nipples are sensitive, as were his, so this really turned me on). Funnily enough, since most of what goes on in an SOP venue like this usually is first and foremost about cock, we really didn’t go for each other’s dicks a lot, and certainly not straight away. We were just enjoying making out like a couple of teenagers. I kissed his neck and sucked his earlobes. I whispered in his ear, “You are so sexy.”
Now all the time we were doing this (at least fifteen minutes) another guy (maybe there was more than one) was feeling us too. I could feel another hand on my back, sometimes under my towel on my balls. I know he was touching my partner because once or twice I felt my partner slap the other guy’s hand away. I was actually amazed that this guy who I’d just met was getting so intimate with me and was even rejecting others in favour of me. After all, most of us don’t go to SOP venues just to kiss and cuddle – most go for quantity not quality. But I was not complaining at all. But eventually he became irritated with others’ attention and whispered to me, “Do you want to continue this in a room?’ Now when he brought his lips to my ear I had half-expected he was going to say goodbye (because I had felt him becoming irritated), so this surprised and delighted me. I said yes perhaps overeagerly and we went to a room.
Now, in this venue, the standard room has a bed with a vinyl covered mattress, a lube dispenser and a stack of condoms. They usually also have a low light on – to tell the truth I’d never noticed whether there was a light switch or not. But the room we found had no light whatsoever, so there was only a little more light than in the Dark Room. I’m sure there was a light switch somewhere, but we just went in, closed the door, and continued where we had left off. Kissing, feeling, touching. Our towels slipped off. I felt his dick properly now: not long, but not really short, thick, hard. Often mine doesn’t get completely hard, because I need to be emotionally into a hookup to be really turned on, even with casual hookups (I know that might sound strange but it’s always been true of me: that’s why I’ve never been able to top someone, like the previous guy, in a purely casual encounter). But this time my dick was rock hard. (If he’d asked me to fuck him I would have tried, though I’m kind of glad he didn’t because I really don’t top all that much.) He sat on the bed and I kissed down his chest, getting on my knees in the classic blowjob position. I took his dick in my mouth and ran my lips up and down it. I coated it with my saliva and gave him one of the wettest, sloppiest blowjobs I’ve ever given. It was like I was just drooling for him, my saliva just gushed out. I took him as deep as I could and he moaned. He asked me to pinch his nipples harder while I was blowing him as that really turned him on. At some point I moved him so he was lying on the bed and I approached him from the other direction (as if 69ing, which we weren’t at that stage) so I could take his dick as deep as possible in my mouth. I loved feeling the head at the back of my throat.
After what must have been about ten minutes he pulled me up and said, “Now it’s your turn.” He had me lie on the bed and went down on me. His mouth was nice and wet too and it was one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had. Slow and sensual, as was everything about this hookup. There was none of the frenzied urgency I usually find in male-male encounters. Even my FWB is rougher and more wham-bam than this, and he tried to be more gentle for my sake. It was like we had all the time in the world; or that time had just stopped and there was only the two of us here in the dark.
He climbed on top of me and we 69ed for a while. Then he pulled off me, turned around lying next to me and we kissed and cuddled and touched each other. I said to him, “You know, you’re one of the few guys I’ve met who knows how to make love rather than just fuck.” He replied, “You’re obviously a very nice person, and so you should attract nice people.” A more philosophical conversation than most I’ve had in such places!
I asked him if he was hanging around for longer (I had to leave to go home and get ready for dinner with my FWB) and he said he was planning to stay awhile so he didn’t want to come. I told him regretfully that I had to leave soon and really wanted to come as he’d turned me on so much. He said, “I’ll stay with you till you finish.” So we kissed again, as I stroked myself – it didn’t take long until I had a huge, and prolonged orgasm. He was feeling my legs, my chest, my balls. In the gloom he felt my abdomen, said, “God, you came a lot.” I replied, “That’s because you got me so turned on.”

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I wiped up the mess and then I hugged him close, feeling his body against me for a moment longer. We kissed, then said our thanks and goodbyes. I didn’t get his name. I didn’t tell him mine. I almost wish I had – but at the same time it might have ruined the moment. I mean, I’d love to see him again if I could. Maybe I’ll go back to the place in a few weeks on the same day at the same time and see if he’s there. But at the same time, I worry that might diminish what we had. Certainly it was better than I ever hoped for at one of those places. Maybe it should remain a glorious memory? I really don’t know. As for how I feel about him, I wonder if he came to the Dark Room in the first place for similar reasons to those I wrote in the introduction to this piece – that these SOP venues are filled with guys who think they’re god’s gift to men and love being admired but would immediately turn down an advance from someone with a different body shape. Maybe he came in there because we’re all more equal in the dark. I hope that isn’t true, because he seemed like a lovely person, and I wish nothing but the best for him. If he’s considerate enough to take time to be intimate with a partner at a place where most people are just looking to score notches in the bedpost, he deserves happiness with considerate partners.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Making new friends

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My FWB, later that evening and the next day. He’s always positive (if sometimes a little mystified) about my experiences. He knows I like to make love rather than just fuck, so he was glad I’d managed to find someone else who felt the same way. He told me of the five guys who had fucked him.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Finding such intimacy and such a caring partner at a place where people basically either come to be admired or get their rocks off.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I didn’t get his name.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really, though I suppose it’s reaffirmed, firstly, my belief that casual sex can still be intimate; and, secondly, my knowledge of what I need to make casual sex satisfying.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I think I’ve said all I can!

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Well, in my previous stories I’ve talked about my views, the role it plays in my life. This time I’d like to say something about society. It seems to me that there are many people out there doing it. Most of the married people at my workplace don’t seem averse to it either (though in the same breath they’d condemn their partners for cheating on them!). I’d really like to see society becoming less hypocritical about it all. I know I cheat on my partner and I’m sorry I find it necessary to do so. I just wish we could all be more open and just say, “You can have sex with anyone you like, a marriage (or relationship) is about a lot more than sex, and there are worse ways you can harm a marriage than breaking the fidelity vow” which I firmly believe is true.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great! I’m glad to be able to share my stories and I’m always interested in others’ experience.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!