What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 44
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Hervey Bay, Queensland
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Sports Admin
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Never been with a girl but would be interested in trying
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Loving Mature Authoritative Men
How long ago did this hookup happen? less than 7 days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met my “friend” online through a facebook page where we would share similar stories and opinions. I liked the way he spoke and conversed online. His intelligence and wit were quirky…turns out he was highly regarded in the medical field in the small town where we lived. We eventually met when his job brought him to my place of work. I noticed him and recognized him from his facebook profile pic. I didn’t think too much of him… He was older than me…maybe by 10 years or so… At the time, I was happily married and did not consider him “fuckable” at all.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Fast forward a couple of years, during that time, we had seen each other occasionally in the supermarket, always stopped to say hello and have a quick chat. We conversed many times on facebook. I even asked him out to dinner with myself, husband, and widowed mother. He was single and seemed like a nice quiet intelligent guy who was a single shift worker and had no life.
Fast forward another year and I had broken up with my husband whom I had been with for 26 years. We were/are still friends but weren’t divorced yet. I was house sitting a friend’s place while he was away on holidays. I was having computer problems and reached out to an awesome local community advice group. He offered to help me. I suggested we meet at a coffee shop. He said he will be out visiting a friend on my side of town and didn’t mind coming to my place to save me a trip all the way into town. I thanked him and offered him lunch in return. He turned up the next day, on time and smelling fresh like he had just got out of the shower. He fixed my computer and internet issues. We had a quick seafood pasta lunch and shared a bottle of wine….(yes, I believe it was the alcohol that started all this). We retired to the lounge to watch a movie that we had just downloaded at an amazing speed. I was very happy with how easy it all seemed, he had fixed my PC issues with just a few keystrokes. After 15 minutes of sitting next to each other (and another glass of wine) I REALLY became aware of him…his breathing, his smell, the way our thighs were slightly touching, the way we would both laugh at the same thing at the same time….We must have been thinking the same thing because during a boring part in the movie he looked at me and said, ” I am having a hard time trying to keep my hands off you.” My response was ” good, thank fuck, let’s do this”
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started to kiss passionately…within minutes we were groping each other and were hot and sweaty and breathing heavily. We stripped off each other’s clothes while kissing and licking the affected area. It was hot, relaxed but sensual. There was no awkwardness or embarrassment about our bodies. I am a larger 44 year old. He is a slim built 56 year old. We had amazing missionary sex in the lounge. Turns out that he had trimmed his pubes that morning. He had hoped to get a “bit” but never thought it would happen. Afterward, I told him I needed a shower. He followed me into the shower where he washed me down and made sure I was squeaky clean. I reciprocated. We went back to the lounge where we managed to find the spot in the movie where we got “distracted”.
After just half an hour, we were back at it again…and then back into the shower after another 30-minute session. I came 6 times during the two 30 minute sessions. I have never known a man to go for so long until he comes. He was kind and gentle and more than giving. We snuggled afterward and I fell asleep because I was exhausted. After I had been sleeping for an hour, we woke me up to let me know that he had to go. He had to go to work. We laid together and chatted about how enjoyable it was….We were both single and agreed to remain friends with benefits.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next few days were really hard for me. I had only been separated for a few months from my husband. For me, sex = relationship. I had a hard time getting my head around the whole fuck buddy/ friends with benefits concept. I had to change my way of thinking…it’s just sex…it’s just sex…it’s just sex…I had a hard time telling myself to not get attached and try to claim ownership of him and be possessive. That’s all I had ever known. We are still great “friends with benefits”. We see each other at least once per week sharing a meal, a few glasses of wine and many orgasms together.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Exchanged recent STI test results
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My hairdresser…I can tell her anything and she doesn’t judge. She knew I had been in a boring sexless marriage….I hadn’t had sex for 3 years before I met this guy…
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was fun. Left me feeling wanted and desired after so long…it was pure pleasure and left me feeling very content.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not seeing him more frequently…he is a shift worker and sometimes I can only see him once a week…
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, definitely. It’s just sex….for sex sake. There is no hard feelings, no jealousy…we are both getting what we want out of it. Personally, I feel happy and fulfilled….I often find myself smiling and reminiscing about our last “session”
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I don’t understand why I seem to be attracted to older men. Out of every guy I have ever been with….EVERY SINGLE ONE has been older than me and they always seem to be in a position of authority over me. My boss in a fast food chain ended up being my husband (who is 9 years older)and since then, I have seen other guys who have always been my superiors at various employers…(yes, I have not been the perfect wife, he doesn’t know that though). This guy I am seeing now amazes me with his medical knowledge and compassion and intelligence. It’s something about authority and intelligence that rings my bell I suppose.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is a great opportunity…but not for the young and immature. There are too many risk factors for the young, irresponsible and immature….eg unwanted pregnancy, STD’s etc….I think back to when I was younger and am amazed with what I got away with…I was young and carefree and didn’t give a shit about the consequences…now its different…It’s thought about and discussed and agreed upon…certainly a more mature approach…it’s planned and laid out…no bullshit, no surprises, we both know what is going to happen and we discuss whether we want the other person to stay the night or not. We even openly discuss what we like and want to try…eg…he admitted he doesn’t like anal. I hate it too so we agreed that we wouldn’t go there…see?? No nasty surprises…lol
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Its a great concept as long as all comments left here are TRUTHFUL.
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