What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? Older than young
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? US
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Social science researcher and writer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? at least 1,000
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Many, Many Women
How long ago did this hookup happen? more than 20 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partners were two black women, one a friend of mine from work, an absolutely gorgeous, very dark-skinned, slender-waisted, big-breasted, very proportionately shaped woman in her 30’s, the other, her friend, pretty, in her 20’s. When we first had sex, I noticed that my friend had a single hair coming from one breast, which in no way detracted from her great beauty and desirability.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I knew my friend, as I say, from work. She, like me, was a low-level producer at CBS News in New York. So we knew each other casually before the 36-hour virtually non-stop sexual experience I describe here. I had invited my friend to my West Side Manhattan apartment not to “see my etchings” but to read my screenplay of a great black blues singer. Was my motive hoping to sleep with her? Probably, but pushed ahead in my consciousness was a sincere – as it turned out, naive – wish to read to her from a screenplay I had written about a legendary black bluesman.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? My friend showed up one afternoon with her younger friend. I think they both were intrigued by me, a young white guy, ranting praise of the bluesman. Maybe also they liked the cut of my jib, I don’t know. I was the skinny, nervous, sensitive but confident type, and I had a muscular body from doing endless pushups every day. I read some of my screenplay to the two women, after which, came a long silence. Then my friend declared, lazily, that it was hot in the room, following which, and without the slightest self-consciousness, she stripped to bra and panties; her friend followed suit. It then, duh, clicked in my brain – ok, so this is what’s going to happen. Pretty soon, we were all naked and I was riding on top of or smothered in their flesh. For the next some 36 hours, in my apartment and in my friend’s apartment in Harlem, we made love, sometimes it was me with both of them, sometimes it was both of them with me finding the right orifice at the right moment. It became clear to me that they enjoyed each other at least as much as they enjoyed me, but this didn’t bother me at all. The only interruptions were to get something to eat (Harlem then was a bit dangerous for a white guy, so they escorted me, one on either side, to a fried chicken restaurant). We also saw a movie by Roman Polanski. (I can’t remember the name now). Just before we three, completely exhausted, took leave of each other, after what had been, for me, a day-and-a-half that exceeded then my 20-something self’s wildest dreams, my friend from work casually told, after a deep final tongue kiss, that it was very unlikely what we had just had together, the three of us, would ever happen again.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I did continue to see my friend for more fantastic hook-ups for some months afterward until it became uncomfortable because she was the “mistress” at the time also of a big-shot executive producer, and her status at CBS might be at risk if he found out about us. One other thing – she gave me the greatest blow job I have ever had. She knew what she was doing.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Some of my male friends after the fact, and then to my girlfriends and fiance.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The openness of the two women to sex and to me.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing was bad about it except that it ended.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Since then I have had sex with man, many women but, although I have had other wonderful sex, in many respects nothing has equaled this.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think basically any and all restrictions to sex because of law or culture should be discarded – including sex worker sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!