What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 31
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Sydney
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Consultant
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Meet me at midnight
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We had just started chatting online on a hookup site before deciding to meet. Prior to meeting in person, I had only seen a very grainy photo which appeared to be a couple of years old. He is Caucasian, brown hair, blue eyes 6 feet, of solid build and an Englishman’s ruggedness which was a huge turn on for me. To my relief, he was genuinely a nice guy and we ended up connecting very quickly.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I had just came home from dinner with some friends when i jumped online to check my messages on the website when he sent me a chat request. We chatted for a bit before exchanging photos. He said that he was in town for work and was staying at a hotel in the city. We decided to meet at midnight – to give me time to drive down to the city and for him to freshen up.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had a drink in the lobby bar, before he suggested going back to his room. I agreed and he slipped me his room key and number and told me to go up first and that he would follow behind. As soon as he got into the room, he started kissing my neck and started to slowly peel my clothes off. He proceeded to go down on me – that initial touch was electric and I was immediately in heaven and putty in his hands. I reciprocated the favour; we continued like this for an hour before he said he wanted to penetrated me. He had his tie close by and so he went to grab it and put it around my neck before getting me onto all fours. A couple of spanks and he was thrusting into me from behind while firmly pulling the tie around my neck with one hand while the other was grabbing my ass. He started talking dirty and I was so turned on and overwhelmed that I started talking dirty back to him. This got us both excited and he pulled out and came over my ass. I was on the edge of orgasm when he pulled out to cum. He realized this and started to go down on me to get me to come. But it was getting late and I needed to sleep.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close.
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We both took a shower together and he walked me back to my car. I was so tired when I got home that I passed out and didn’t really think about what had happened until the next morning. There was no expectation to see each other again. But when I went online the next night, he was online waiting for me and said he would like to meet up again. We have met up a few times since our initial encounter before he left to go back home (overseas). I’m glad i took the risk, but at the same time also realize how lucky I was that he was not a predator etc.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, withdrawal.
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, to feel better about myself. It just happened, I don’t know why, and I just went along with it.
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it.
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent.
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a girlfriend that I had been sleeping with someone else, however I lied to her as to how we met. She was fairly positive upon learning this; she knew that I was having problems in my relationships and thought it was good for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? He was a good lover and ticked all the boxes for me. We had fun, he had a great sense of humor and managed to get a few bedroom sessions in before he went home.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? We had clicked very well together both sexually and mentally. The worse thing about the hookup was saying goodbye and thinking I may never see him again.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Definitely has changed my view. This was the first time I had done anything like this. I use to think about it, but never had the nerve to follow through until now because I was afraid of what people would think of me and how I would feel about myself afterwards. This encounter made me more aware of my sexuality and opened up a world of empowering possibilities.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? He has since emailed again and set up another rendezvous as he has another work trip to Australia. We are discussing the possibility of further exploring other fetishes etc.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’ve always been a good and loyal partner, however in the back of my mind the urge was always there and certainly was something I use to fantasize about but never had the nerve to carry out. Casual sex was something i wish I had discovered earlier, and I wish people would stop judging and shaming those who partake as this was one of the main reasons why I never acted on those urges.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s been very interesting reading and certainly shatters the image that people who engage in casual sex are all college age or thereabouts. I’m also amazed that some stories are from a couple of years ago and the writers recall it like it was just yesterday!
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