by Pan Jinlian
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Fort
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0 but this will be my first
Meeting an Online Friend
How long ago did this hookup happen? December 8th
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Unplanned hook-up
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is fit and young with some really attractive features that I liked. I only knew him through Tinder and then we exchanged numbers and started texting but I knew him well enough to know that he was a very nice guy. I hadn’t hooked up with him. Before, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to meet him since he was from another country and only here for work for about a week so I just brushed him off as a friend.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It began about a week prior to the actual day and we had been exchanging texts and he insisted that we meet up for drinks before he left to go back to his country. So we made plans to meet and I told my husband whom was resilient at first but later let me go since we were just to meet as friends only. My friend and I met at a restaurant and we, for the first time, met in person. We talked for a few hours and I noticed that he kept looking at my cleavage throughout the night. When we finally left the restaurant and we were outside talking while he was trying to catch an uber driver. I felt bad for him since it was cold and said that we should go sit in my car while we wait. Next thing I knew we were going at it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Well, we hugged and then he started to kiss my neck and let’s just say that that opened up my legs for the guy. He asked to touch my breasts, then my pussy and each time I just said yes. I touched his dick and jerked him off while he fingered me. We stopped and then drove to his hotel and I let him have his way with me. We didn’t have protection so he ate me out while he fingered me and I returned the favor by sucking his dick. Eventually, I gave in to my desire to have him and we had sex. I made sure that he pulled out before he came and let him come on me instead. I felt so satisfied but yet really guilty because I had assured my husband that we were only to meet as friends. So I washed up, dressed and left. By this time it was almost midnight and I met my friend at 7 pm.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Well, after the hook up I came home and told my husband that my friend was a gentleman and all we did was talk the whole night. Then, I added that I sent him home and then came home. I felt terrible the next day. I’m not meeting him ever again because prior to even meeting him, we assured each other that nothing would happen and something did. As of now, he’s just friend zoned and nothing more.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal
What were your motives for this hookup? Making new friends, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? I’m not sure / I don’t know
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I first told my best friend and she felt bad for my husband. It took about a day and a half until I finally confessed to telling my husband. He was very disappointed and later forgave me that night.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? Because I gave into my slutty ways when I wasn’t supposed to and I ruined some things with my husband.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was good and I got to see and feel another man’s dick in me.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The aftermath
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Nope, not at all. My opinion is still the same.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s very interesting and different from the usual things I read.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!