What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Salt Lake
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Musician
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Middle of the football field, under a meteor shower
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was quite a bit shorter than my 6’3″, with dark, bushy hair. She had an athletic build, and is hard to describe without using the word “stocky” but I can’t figure out how to make that sound feminine and flattering, but for her it was. We had a few close mutual friends, so we’d hung out together a lot and had spent a lot of time together in the couple months we’d known each other, but this was the first time we were ever anything close to paired off.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She asked me to go with her and two other friends (a couple), to watch a meteor shower, so that was planned, but the actual hooking up wasn’t. The four of us were lying under the stars out in a football field waiting for the meteors shower to start and the other couple excused themselves to get a more romantic view. It was getting cold and we were lying next to each other under several blankets, but it was still too cold. She was worried about how cold her hands were. I knew that the easiest way to warm up your hands is to press them against your body, skin on skin. I suggested she use my chest, under my shirt, as a hand warmer.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? At first she just held her cold hands against me, but as they warmed up, she started to move them, over my body. After a few minutes, she offered to let me “warm up my hands” as well. I began to touch her body, and finally, climbed on top of her and began to kiss her, missing most of the fireworks, but thoroughly enjoying myself nonetheless. It was too cold to take anything off, but we explored each others bodies as far as our hands could reach and kissed each other’s lips and necks. Finally, we settled down for a moment and watched the stars again, still being a little hands-y and held each other much more closely than before.
She went with me back to my apartment afterwards, since it was within walking distance of the university. Still feeling the effects of the cold, I offered for her to take a hot shower to feel better. She did, but left the shower door open a little. I stepped in and asked if she needed anything. She said she could use some company, so I stripped down and joined her. I fingered her as the water ran over our bodies and then she wrapped one leg around my waist, I lifted her up and she slid me inside of her and we both moved on each other until I had to pull out. We made out a little more and she spent the night with me in a pair of my shorts and a t-shirt and left for work the next morning.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I loved the experience at the time, but she seemed to be inclined to start a relationship, and I was still enjoying my singlehood. Once I finally got a steady girlfriend, she still kissed me once to try to win me back. We still remained good friends, but I always wondered if she was still hung up on me until she got married later.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Discussed STI testing history, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? My views of where it would lead did not match hers, and it was uncomfortable for our friendship for a while.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It took place in a setting (middle of a football field under a sky full of shooting stars) that still excites me.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Regrets, strained friendship afterwards.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me more comfortable hooking up over all, but it also made me want to be less comfortable. I felt like it wasn’t the best thing I could have done, and I wanted to be more rational with my sexuality.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I feel like casual sex is portrayed in the media as being WAY more common than it is I the real world, and as having significantly fewer repercussions to relationships.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s interesting, and kind of fun.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!