What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Romania, Alba Iulia
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Translator
What’s your current relationship status? Separated from husband
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Adventurous, opened to mild BDSM
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? A week ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Separate from husband
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Tall, handsome, smart. Seen him a total of 7 times in 3 months. We met a pub and talked about our families (he is divorced but wants to get back with his wife); he hit on me at some point and suggested we fuck that night. I was a bit skeptical, as he had been drinking, and I wasn’t prepared for a hook up that particular night. Nor did I feel an intense attraction or spark between us. I, however, felt an intellectual connection and it also felt good to have a man want me. I told him I would sleep on it, and he didn’t seem to pleased about my answer, but I had to get home, so I just left it at that.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A month later, after the proposition, and after considering whether I should get involved in a fling or not, I started a chat on Facebook, where I started steering the discussion towards sex. I casually mentioned that I wanted to be dominated in bed, and I flirted and two days later I suggested we met at his apartment for sex. I figured that even if it was going to be a one time thing, I would at least get to have sex.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? So I went to his apartment, being extremely guarded as I didn’t know what to expect….after all, I had only seen this guy once, before. So, he invited me to take a seat on the couch and asked me how I was doing. We chatted for a while about our families and than he brought up the domination part. He asked me if I was into BDSM and I told him that I never tried it before but that I am curious. He asked me if I was okay with being bonded, ropes…. I told him we should start slow and see what happens.
The interaction was awkward at least for me, as he was not making any move to touch me so I told him I needed to lose the pants as they are uncomfortable. So after that, he handed me one of his shirts and asked me to put it on. I did and we started kissing and he started touching me on my neck and breasts. He told me to remove the bra and I did. I assume the particular details should remain personal, but he was a little rougher than I was used to, Beside the vaginal sex: on top, behind me (not missionary though) we tried anal, which I have never done before, and all in all he was as dominating as one could hope for. The hookup lasted for about 2 hours with intermissions to rest, and it was extremely interesting.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup we had a casual discussion about our level of satisfaction and I left home. I felt weird, as in I wasn’t sure if I actually enjoyed it or not, as it pushed some boundaries. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to do it again, either. Still, we hooked up 6 additional times after that, and he spanked me during those times, and tried deep throat, again new to me, and all in all we started pushing our limits; we used a vibrator during our last hookup so I could see what double penetration would feel like. He ended things a few days ago. I am sorry it ended as I really enjoyed having sex with him, and I feel like we could have explored many more things sexually.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Friends. They understood my need to have this hook up.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing was the fact that I tried new things and discovered what else I like in terms of sex.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I learned that there is only so many times you can hookup with a person before developing some sort of feelings for them. I discovered I liked to be spanked and that I like ass penetration. Also it was new to me the entire fuck buddies concept and learned what a booty call is like. I learned that I can’t really be dominated as I am a very stubborn and control obsessed person, but that I can do it to a certain extent.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I would have liked it to last longer.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is okay as long as there aren’t feelings involved. As I said above there are only so many times one can sleep with a person before developing feelings. The hookup was a refuge for me to get away from the changes that occurred in my life recently and it is a way of being satisfied without actually getting involved. It is safer and more clear when there are rules in place from the beginning and it isn’t something that can be done long term. Not with the same person, anyway.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is a great project and I am glad to read similar stories and see what other feel about this subject. It is a learning experience.
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