by AIT

Gender: female
Age: Early 40s
Race/ethnicity: Sub-Saharan African
Location: Japan
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Lecturer
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Frustrated + I might like men more than women though I couldn’t really say as I haven’t been very lucky with that. From my experiences and the way I feel about women, I know I like them very much too.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None yet

Mr Softie

How long ago did this hookup happen? January 2013

How would you best classify this hookup: Performing my Master’s Task

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? It’s a toy I bought from Amazon. It looked good on the photo. I wanted something on which to practice DT techniques but Mr Softie was simply too big for that or for anything else as it turns out.
It was our first time. I wasn’t a big fan of vibrators but I thought a dildo might be fun to try.

Meet Mr Softie here.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I met my online Master (actually he was more my dom but) who got me all excited and discovering more aspects of my sexuality I hadn’t had the chance to experiment with. He spoke of toys and my collection was just so limited. I think he may have asked me if I had something and that got me to sit and shop for some items that we could incorporate in our games. He inspired me, but Mr Softie was all my idea.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Well, I’d told Master about my new acquisition and had sent him photos. I’d hinted at wanting to be tasked on how to baptize Mr Softie. I knew that would please him. I was a good slave. He sent me this:

“You drive crazy with lust.
The thought of my slave in the shower all steamy and wet. OMG OMG
I want you on your knees down nice, get comfortable and slow, lick Mr softie as if I was standing in front of you.
Lick my balls, take them in your mouth and suck on them.
I like that mmmm then slowly lick my shaft.
Now the head, flick the head with your tongue.  mmmm so good
But I only want you to take my head into your mouth.
Do not take it any further, I do not wish it! Just suck and lick my head.
Play with my balls too.

Now stand up and get your lube and lube the little cunt for I would have you stand and bend over so I can fuck you slowly from behind.
Slowly mind and again. I am just allowing  the head to enter to part you sweet lips.

Imagine Master putting on your nipple clamps and tugging the chain and caressing your breasts while Master continues to tease you with just his tip.

You are to touch yourself while grinding back on to my head.

I allow you to push back, slow, inch at a time until I am inside you.
Try not to take it all on you first try!

Just imagine me with you in the shower. all hot. shower. bothered mmmmm”

And so I did.

Mr Softie tasted quite horrible so that part was over very quickly. The second part of my task wasn’t much easier either although with unexpected consequences.

The lubricant, which I’d also got from Amazon, was actually meant for anal play and it was really sticky and thick. That was a good thing because I was in a bit of a shock by how big Mr Softie was and there was just no way I could take the whole thing in. I was also quite taken aback by how real Mr Softie felt when it pushed myself back to envelop it. I’d stuck it on the wall because the suction bit allowed for that, and I was trying to stay balanced by holding on to the bathtub. It was no use so I took it into the bath with me and despite the initial struggle, it started to feel good. It felt good but not really. I did orgasm in the end but it wasn’t a pleasurable end, more of a physical reaction, like a reflex. I felt the contractions around my fingers close by. That’s how I knew. There had been no build up, no nothing. I wanted it out asap, not wanting to get used to it, not wanting to get attached. Maybe, I thought, it wouldn’t be as easy as I thought with a robot (a fantasy of mine).

It was very disorienting that there was no real person attached to Mr Softie but at the same time the detachment was quite liberating. For the first time, I moved on a penis, albeit a fake one, for my pleasure. I didn’t quite know how to take that at first. I moved on it with my pleasure being my only concern. I realized that day for the first time that the moment a man entered me, it always became about him. As a result, I didn’t really know what to do with Mr Softie, because none of the things I did, none of the ways I moved resulted in anyone else getting pleasure from it. It was all about pleasuring me and that was strange, in fact, weird to have to face at that moment that I’d always moved for the other, without even realizing it. If I’d ever moved for me before, it was actually either by asking for us not to change positions or while apologizing. I suddenly found that very absurd. It had nothing to do with selfishness like I must have thought of it before. No, you just don’t tango for the other. You do it for both. Together.

Master was very pleased and agreed that “perhaps a smaller Mr softie is better to start you training.  I however was very pleased that you completed you task and improved. The image of you fucking Mr softie for your Master will make me hard every time.”

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I didn’t need to worry about any of these things just hygiene really.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? It was a task and I wanted to please my master. Spice up things between us. My sex life in real life has been lacking any life. It’s no easy thing being a foreign woman in Japan.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I was completely sober.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Four months later, I still hadn’t given up on Mr Softie except for the part where I simply couldn’t get it to be more palatable. I bought another toy for that. I’m making very little progress now there’s nobody to task it. It’s not exactly a fun thing to do and nothing to motivate me. But thanks to the super slippery lubricant and some practice, Mr Softie and I started to get along better. I could even introduce it to the butt plug, which I was also getting used to by then.

There were a few other times Mr Softie and I played after my master and I split up. It still hurt but sometimes I was in the mood for the pain.
Just recently, I took it out again when nothing seemed to get me off and stay calm for longer than a few hours. It was too frustrating that nothing I did would quench the need, both mental and physical. I quickly picked a vanilla video online and I was happy that I found the couple attractive. More than that, I loved that they both seemed to enjoy each other’s company. This was a case of tangoing with her pleasure mattering as much as his.
It was still strange to insert Mr Softie (or anything else to be honest) in me, borderline painful because I squeeze my insides so much. It was much easier to sit on it as if i were on top than in any of the other positions I’d attempted. It’s still odd that there’s nobody attached to Mr Softie, one that would at least hold my hips and move me to his rhythm. In terms of the size too, it’s different when it’s a real human being. Mr Softie might be a good imitation, but it’s still too big and in the end it doesn’t shrink and exit without the trauma, as it should. i used a lot of lube and maybe because It’d been so long (a bit over a year actually), the whole experience was was ridiculously intense. There may have been a few mini orgasms at first, which had got me to think “oh no! this can’t be just it!” but then it kept building up, and then when it got to that point of no return, I thought I’d die. i screamed it out because it had to come out somehow. I hope the neighbors didn’t hear. I may not have been so loud. I read somewhere that you aren’t as loud as you think but damn! I cleaned myself up thinking, hopefully this is it for a short while now, like a huge meal you eat that will last you awhile, instead of the little snacks that just open your appetite.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I spoke about it with another friend, with whom I’d also played a few times as we’d met in the same context. He was a good friend by then and was quite used to hearing my stories. Having a predominantly online sex life means that there is no room for inhibition. The anonymity helps, at first, I think. Then you simply get used to it. The better you (and your partner) can write, the more exciting and the better the quality of the games.
I may have mentioned it to a couple of other online friends. That I can’t remember their reaction probably means that they liked the story, commented on it and we all moved on, ie, nothing special. In general, they liked my stories and asked for more. They especially liked the details of our plays and were in awe/interested/intrigued/surprised by how master and I were so much into each other with intense, deepening feelings as if we were together in real life.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Mr Softie had no say in the matter. It was just a tool. (-:
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, because although it wasn’t very pleasant (especially at first), I really got a lot out of the experience.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that for a few moments here and there, it really felt like I was with somebody.
The worst thing was that it wasn’t pain free and the whole process of having to remove it and the lubricant was such a downer.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I’ve never told this story to anyone who’s not in the BDSM lifestyle or the queer community. I thought it’d be fun to write this story and was motivated to do so after I read the sad one about the “Lost Youth.” Now that I’ve finished it, I feel a bit apprehensive to send it off because of how people might judge my choices, orientation and inclinations as if they were representative of other people into kink or with alternative sexual experiences. I hope they don’t and just appreciate the story for what it is: just a fraction of one woman’s adventure with toys.

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