What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 38
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Raleigh
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Medical
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
My Best Friend’s Wife
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She is about 5′ 3″, slim with a terrific figure. She has dirty blonde hair and blue eyes with very fair skin. Her husband and I were becoming best friend’s. I met them at a community pool. We both have kids and they were in the pool playing. My wife actually met them first and called me to come meet them. I am somewhat reserved when it comes to making friends and was not in a hurry to make new friends. They are both very nice people.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? One mornin when I was home from work she shows up around 8 in the morning. Of course, I let her in. The kids were watching TV for a bit and then went into a separate room. I was in the kitchen cleaning up. She was talking about how she doesn’t have feeling in one part of her face. So I gently touched her face and asked her if she could feel it. She said no, and looked into my eyes. I took a breath as I brushed the hair from her face. Her face turned up slightly towards mine and my heart started racing. I asked her if I could kiss her and she gently nodded yes.
So I kissed her gently at first. It was electrical. Then my arms went around her and I kissed her very deeply. She moaned a bit as I kissed down her neck and then back to her lips.
I then asked her in a whisper if she wanted to go somewhere a little more private. She hesitated for a moment and then said yes. The kids were still playing in their room.
I took her hand and led her to my bedroom.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kissed some more and I removed her panties (she was wearing a dress) and then pulled her top off.
I asked her if this was okay and she said, “it won’t be if you stop.” This was all the urging I needed. I pushed her onto the bed and went down on her. I can still remember her taste. She moaned and told me to hurry. I got on top and entered her. She came almost instantly. I started to thrust into her as deep as I could. I was really close and I asked her if she wanted me to pull out. She said no. I came so hard that I was seeing colors. I filled her pussy with my gun.
She got up and put her top back on. Very businesslike, and took her panties with her to the bathroom to clean up. I went and checked on our kids that were still playing together with toys.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We continued on as if nothing happened. I am still close friends with her husband, and her. Nothing has happened since. Although I fantasize about her often. I really don’t expect anything. She is devoted to her husband and children. I love both of them.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was amazing sex. I still remember how she tasted.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It was wrong, but it wasn’t the end of the world. She was on the pill, but I was slightly worried.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No, except that because I love sex and my wife is more utilitarian about it, I would do it again if the moment arose.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Totally worth it.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I am not a big casual sex guy. I don’t care that others do it but I have to feel something deeper than just physical attraction to go that far. I do wish that sex would stop being stigmatized. It really isn’t the worst thing that could happen. It is absurd that families are regularly broken apart because of it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!