What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? College Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
My First Orgasm With Someone
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 week ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We matched on Tinder a month prior to this experience and after texting for about 2 weeks, we decided to meet up. The day before the date, he told me that he was pretty short and if that was a problem. Because I’m pretty tall for a woman I said something along the lines of: I don’t date shorter man, but we can still hang out as friends, because I like meeting new people. He was fine with it and decided to meet up anyway. We were getting along quite well, so we decided to switch bars and hang out with two friends of mine and drink a lot more. We were both pretty drunk and horny, so we had sex at my place and in the morning after that we decided to meet up again next week.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After the hookup the week prior he texted me, if I wanted to meet again and I agreed to it. We decided on having dinner together, so we met up at a restaurant. When we planned the date, I was ready to have sex again, but he told me at dinner, that he was driving and that he planned on driving home early to get some good night sleep. We were having good conversations and the wine I was drinking showed his effect, so I wasn’t ready to let him go home yet, so I asked if he wanted to leave his car parked, go to a bar and I will pay his taxi. He agreed, so we asked for the bill, which he paid and left. At the bar, we were still talking, drinking, but nothing sexual has happened yet, until one thing let to another and we were heavy on PDA, because we were the only ones upstairs in that bar. Panting I asked him, if he wanted to come back to my place, to which he agreed on, so I paid and we left.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Back at my place, there wasn’t a lot of talking involved; We let out bodies speak for themselves and quickly we were on my bed making out. Last time we had sex, he discovered, how turned on I was, while being choked lightly, so he decided to do that again and I was going crazy already. He was keen on going down on me, but every time he did, I pulled him up to me, because I’m always in my head, when somebody is eating me out. I searched with shaky fingers and heavy breathing for a condom inside my bedside drawer and he pulled it over his dick and we started fucking. Because I only had penetrative sex two times prior it started hurting and we decided to stop. I wanted to make him cum though, so I started slowly kissing his neck, down to his chest until I reached his dick. Slowly caressing his tip and trying to let my inner porn star out, I looked up to him innocently until I started going up and down faster. He gripped my head, pressing me down onto his dick, until he came. Gasping for air, I swallowed and licked every inch of his belly and his dick clean. We cuddled afterwards and I kinda cried, because I was frustrated, that penetrative sex was still hurting me even though I wasn’t a virgin anymore, but he comforted me and stroke my hair. We then talked about our other hookups and he was saying to me that he was seeing two other girls besides me and if that was okay with me, but I already thought that was the case since we’ve met on Tinder. We then begin to talk about our fetishes and kinks and since I’m kinda drunk still, I decide to share mine: I’m pretty submissive, since I’m not that experienced and I like orgasm denial porn. He was down to give it a shot, so he started to choke me lightly again, while his hand was rubbing my clit. I was already going crazy. He was kissing me with tongue and increasing his movements with his fingers and I was so close to coming when he suddenly moved slower and said calmly: “Not yet.” I was going crazy. For the first time I could let all of my thoughts go and only have one: “Please let me cum”, I begged, squirming from one side to the other. He was still slowly moving his fingers on my clit, until he decided I have been a good girl, sucking his dick, swallowing and cleaning up afterwards, so he moved faster and faster. “Come for me”, he whispered in my ear and giving him control over my body and thoughts I actually came. It was liberating not having to focus on looking cute, on whether it was appropriate or not to feel this turned on and on everything else. Having someone say, what to do and how to feel was freeing me from all this anxiety about my orgasm. We cuddled again and I was smiling the whole time. My first orgasm with somebody else. He decided to make me cum two more times and was actually very good dominating me and telling me when to come. In-between each orgasm, we cuddled, talked about our fantasies, our sex life and about relationships in general.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He had to leave early in the morning to drive home, but we talked about what we will do at our next meeting. We decided, that I’m not allowed to wear any panties underneath my skirt and that he will blindfold me when I come to his apartment. So the next day I was feeling good and pretty horny tbh, thinking about our next meeting and what he will do to me. After a few days my mind is a lot clearer.
I don’t have any expectations to end up exclusive dating this person, because he told me he has two other sexual relationships with girls and also he doesn’t like relationships and their restraints. I will keep seeing where things go, but I will also try to date other people to not fall in love.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication, To feel more desirable, I was feeling lonely, Power / Dominance, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? With my flat mate and she reacted mixed. She also said that I should keep dating other people, because she was stuck in a unhappy casual relationship for more than a year, because she had feelings for her partner and was afraid to break it off.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? No I don’t regret this hookup. I in fact don’t regret any of my hookups, because in the moment it happened, it feels good and that makes it valid for me.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? My first orgasm of course and all of the orgasms after. Also getting to explore my kink better and living it out for the first time.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The feeling of defeat, because I wasn’t able to have penetrative sex, because it still hurts. Also the deep down, slowly creeping premonition, that I might catch feelings for this person, if I don’t date people besides him.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I now know, what I like and what I dislike a little bit clearer and that condoms are important especially when the other person is sleeping with other people. At least he was honest, but not everybody is that these days. I feel like I’m a little bit more open to casual sex now and that I feel like I can let myself go and orgasm more easily now.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Tbh I’m not a big fan of casual sex and hookup culture in general. In Fact before our hookup I deleted all dating apps, because I’m sick of being used for sex. The problem with it is, that almost everybody agrees to casual dating, so that most people don’t see the need to put effort into a relationship and if they can choose between a casual relationship and an exclusive one, of course they choose the casual one. Almost nobody wants a ‘real’ relationship anymore.
Still I feel its a great way to experience new things and become a lot better at sex and since I will be moving into a new city in a few month, casual things are the best way to be sexually fulfilled without hurting somebody else. Also I only recommend casual dating, when both persons in the relationship know, that its only casual.
Still I hope that one day I will have my first exclusive relationship and I don’t have to rely on casual encounters to fulfill my needs anymore.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I just found the website through a TED Talk Video and thought it was interesting and a way to clear my mind off of him and when he will text me.
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