by Antigone

Gender: Female
Age: 24
Race/ethnicity: Black
Current location: Dallas, TX.
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: N/A
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Christian, non-denominational
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

My First Picnic

How long ago did this hookup happen? A year and a half ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends-with-benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was an older man, almost 20 years my senior. He didn’t act like it, though, which is why he was so charming. Handsome, brown hair, brown eyes, nice smile, slender build, average height. He was white, and that made things more interesting for both of us. I was his first black woman. Also, he was married and a family man, something I didn’t know at the time; he took his ring off and never gave a clue he was already attached until much later. When I found out, he told me he and his wife were having troubles, and he needed a means of release to escape his reality. I ended up being that for him, off-and-on, for almost a year.
At this time, we didn’t know each very well. We had been chatting for a month before, mostly him trying to convince me to spend time with him. He made me feel beautiful and worthy, something I wasn’t used to. He could tell I had problems with my self-esteem, and he took advantage of it. It’s something I’ve come to not mind, though.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He found out I had never been eaten out before, and he used that as his way in. It took some convincing from him, but we came to an agreement: we’d only play orally unless I gave him permission to do more. So, I invited him to my dorm room one day during his lunch. He drove 30 minutes out of his way to come see me. We sat on the couch for a while, talked and laughed, and then suddenly he told me I was beautiful and asked for permission to kiss me.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After making out for a bit and some light touching, he asked me to strip and go lay down on my bed. He watched from the couch, followed, then closed the door behind him. I nervously watched him as he undressed, and I could tell from the look in his eyes that something primitive was going off within him. 
He was both aggressive and gentle, kissing and sucking on me from head to navel. He grinded against me without entering, pinning my arms, forcing me to open up, watching my breasts bounce with each thrust. He whispered in my ear that I was a queen, and he’d make sure to treat me like I was. 
Then he moved on down. I was so nervous and a little scared, but it felt so amazing. He ate me as if he were fucking me, and it made me want all of him so bad. I felt like I was on fire and in a nice, cool pool at the same time. I had chills going up and down my spine. He made me moan and scream the whole 45 minutes he was down there. I had never, ever felt that way before, and haven’t since, really. His tongue was such a freeing experience for me.
After he finished with me, I gave him a bit of oral, and he came almost immediately.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Yes, I did, and he ejaculated afterward.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None; we were both safe (tested), and he had a vasectomy some years before.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was honestly curious about oral sex, and I liked him enough as a person to allow him to explore my body. He made me feel amazing.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No, none.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He was called into work after he came, so he hurriedly dressed, told me he’d contact me soon, we thanked one another, he kissed me, then left.
I had mixed feelings, and those feelings never went away. He made me feel so good, but so bad; I had never been with someone so much older than me. I struggled to feel like I wasn’t just a fetish for him, and he later proved I wasn’t, but knowing that hooking up is was the only possibility for us made my feelings hard to deal with. 
Even though I’ve slept with others, and have arguably had better, he’s the only one who knows me well enough to get me to be completely submissive. I know if I ever were to see him again, he’d have my clothes off in less than a minute. We still chat, and we’re still very much attracted to each other, although we haven’t been together in 10 months.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My future partners. They felt it was weird, but no real judgment from them.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, and yes. Very much so.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes and no; I do not regret feeling good. I do regret the feelings that plagued me afterward, including my willingness to hook up even after I found out he was married with children.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about this experience was, well, everything. I never felt so good or alive. I’ve become so much more open after sex since then, which could be seen as a bad thing, and my confidence in myself is better. I now know more about men, too, and he helped me become more open to men in general. 
The worst was probably timing, from him being called back into work to not being able to really see how we would be compatible emotionally because of his family and our age difference.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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