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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Kansas City, MO, USA
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Massage therapist
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Poly solo, aromantic
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? I lost count…50?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? Zero

My First Threesome

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 weeks

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The man was dressed nicely, shaved head, works in real estate, good-looking, trim body, slightly short for a guy. His girlfriend wore geek chic glasses and a sweater with a word on it, average (as in not under or overweight) body type, has a desk job. She mentioned loving puns and told me about her roller derby activities. I met them via the app Feeld, where couples or singles can find singles or couples for threesomes. We talked via that app, then another messaging app, on and off for a few weeks before things lined up for us to meet.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We agreed to meet for a drink a couple weeks beforehand. I don’t remember who officially initiated. The week leading up to it I thought they’d cancel, because they hadn’t responded to my attempts to firm up plans.

We still did meet and had fun conversation over drinks at a bar. He started playing footsie with me under the table. It turned me on and I worried that the encounter would be unbalanced with his girlfriend of 7 years getting jealous or hurt (which made it more exciting). Fortunately we ended up showing more visible affection, and he mentioned the footsie to both of us.

They had told me that they don’t fuck not the first date. It was nice not having that pressure. I figured if I liked them, hopefully we’ll make plans, and I’d make sure to shave my legs before that next time. I’d also informed them of my HSV status (I have genital herpes) before then and not to their face.

I still had this in mind when they invited me over for coffee. I accepted, and opted for tea. He kissed me, then she and I made out on the couch while he came up and started undressing me. I was still in that “not on the first date” mindset, perhaps because the weekend before I had gone on a date with a couple that ended in a good ol’-fashioned make out sesh. She said something about cute butts and he suggested we show them in the bedroom.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I made out with her naked on the bed, then he entered me from behind. My first thought was, “Wait, not without a condom! I haven’t told you about herpes!” Then I wavered, because he was already in and damage was done. So I pushed those thoughts aside.

The whole experience had a playful vibe. It reminded me of an acroyoga jam (which aren’t sexual). They expressed being turned on by me and we all had fun with it. Most of the time I was thinking about how amazing it was to be in a three-way/with a woman! I felt a little like a bonding activity with her. I kissed her, I kissed him, they kissed each other.

She and I kissed and touched each other’s breasts as he fucked one of us vaginally. We switched off who he was inside.

We rode him as we touched and kissed—she on his face, me on his penis.

She fucked me with a strap on-dildo, which I didn’t care for. It was this first time with that, and I didn’t like how hard and cold the dildo was. I did enjoy experiencing a woman in that role.

She went down on me briefly a few times.

We took turns using her Hitachi. I used it while he fucked me and came—this happened twice. She came twice from intercourse.

We took turns with a blow job—on of us fellated, the other kissed elsewhere or caressed balls.

I suggested he cum on our tits. So after lasting a surprisingly long time, he jacked himself off, standing next to the bed, aiming for us as we kissed.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After I waited for my Uber. Their cat was making me itch a little. We sat on the bed and talked awhile—just about our families and whatever came up.

I felt like it was a wonderful, amazing experience. I was so happy to have had it and would jump at the chance to do it again. I’m still so excited that I did it!

I also have shame about recklessly having unprotected sex and not disclosing herpes. That did make it easier that they didn’t respond when I told them the next day how much fun I had. If they wanted to see me again, the herpes conversation would be so much more awkward.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, IUD (Intrauterine device), I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To cheer myself up, Making new friends

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My Uber driver is a close male friend and knew my plans. I gave him details and it was fun to talk about it. I also texted another 2 male friends about it. One seemed a little judgemental about the herpes. The other was happy for me and I don’t remember if I’d mentioned the herpes.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I only regret the unprotected and herpes aspect. No regrets about anything else.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Experiencing a woman!

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Herpes/unprotected

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I can’t stop thinking about getting more involved with women. I had barely kissed them in the past.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I have been unsuccessful with not casual sex. I don’t like the stigma.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great! I heard about it via Manwhore Podcast.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!