What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Studying biochem
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
My first time
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This guy was in the year above me. We’d never spoken but literally ALWAYS made eye contact. ‘d had a crush on him for ages but he never really noticed me until a party when we were both going to the bathroom lol. We didn’t talk that night but the next few weeks at school we always looked at each other. He was a Middle Eastern guy and extremely gorgeous.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? one day in the library I was studying with a girlfriend who had mates in the year above. A group of guys came and sat with us to talk to her and he was one of them. He asked me what I was studying and because he did bio as well he helped me with questions and we flirted back and forth for a while. That night he messaged me and we talked for hours. He was pretty popular around school so I just assumed her talked to a lot of girls and it wasn’t a big deal. But after talking a bit more at school the following week he asked if I was doing anything the following weekend. I was ecstatic because although I’d had hookups before they’d never been with people I’d been super attracted to. I said nothing and he asked if I wanted to see a movie. I agreed.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was a pretty confident guy and at the movies had his arm round me the whole time. I was snuggled pretty close. Towards the middle of the movie he put a hand on my thigh and when I turned to him we made out for a while. It felt kinda weird in the movie because we were down the front and there were families around us so we stopped. Afterwards he asked if I wanted to go back to his. The sexual tension in his car was crazy. Almost as soon as we got into his house we were making out and he pulled my shirt off and nibbled my neck and kissed my tits. I felt so turned on and he lay me down on his bed. It must’ve been obvious I’d never had sex before because I was pretty nervous and breathing pretty heavily. He asked me if I wanted to do this and I couldn’t even speak I just nodded.
Since it was my first time it did hurt. Not a lot- at the beginning it fucking hurt but then was just uncomfortable. He didn’t last very long and although I’d been really turned on I lost that during the sex because I was so scared.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup we cuddled for a bit but I felt sore and strangely emotional. He asked to catch up a few times after but I declined each time which threw him I think, because girls were all over him. I knew I was going to get a lot of shit when people at school found out because he was popular and I wasn’t really. Also it was a no no to lose your virginity on the first date. I knew I was going to be called a slut and I felt so turned off by the whole thing I didn’t want to see him anymore.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I nodded my head- not exactly enthusiastic! Was just taken aback.
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friends. They were surprised and proud of me because they knew I’d had a crush on this guy. Unfortunately it also got out to most of my grade and his grade which caused a bit of a stir because I wasn’t exactly in the same hierarchy as him.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? The shit I got from people wasn’t worth it. I’m a huge believer in casual sex and knew as a teenager I wouldn’t care if I lost it to someone I’d only just met. But I felt looked down on by all his friends and judged by girls who’d liked him.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got to lose my virginity
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Other people’s opinions
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’ve only really started to date now- all of my hookups before have been casual sex partners. So I guess you could say its played a pretty huge part of my sex life. I think that its really common now in society but any stigma that still exists shouldn’t. If everyones happy casual sex is healthy and fun.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Amazing
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