by Debs

Gender: woman
Age: 45
Race/ethnicity: ethnically norwegian
Location: Oslo, Norway
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Journalist
Relationship status: In a relationship
Religious affiliation: none
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

My Grandmother Sewed Those

How long ago did this hookup happen? 20 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? one-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was the same age as me, maybe a couple of years younger. He was poshly handsome, like someone who has old money in the family and lives in the west end (he did). We met at a club in the high end centre of Oslo, on the dance floor. I thought he was good looking and seemed kind.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I had recently broken up with my boyfriend at the time, and although I didn’t exactly plan it, I was up to it. We danced side by side and randomly noticed each other, danced together and then started cuddling. It was no talking actually before we walked home. I think we both took the first step.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We walked into the (top floor) apartement and he awkwardly talked about the furniture and told me his grandmother had sewed the textile covers for the chairs around his dining table. I noticed the golf-gear in the hall and we sat down and talked and kissed and then went to bed. We had intercourse, but he was not a good lover, so I can’t remember having an orgasm or that it was any oral sex or foreplay. He did come though. And when I was about to go to sleep he asked me to leave. I was taken aback, but left with no hard feelings. Just a little surprised or semi-shocked to what extent he had cynically been after only the sex. I had been there for the sex too, so I couldn’t blame him and I did not feel as if he had used me. We had used each other and it was ok.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom. I knew I had a chronic although not dangerous STI and have never used the pill.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I wanted/craved physical warmth, attention and sex, plus it was a rebound-thing. I had just broken up with my many year and very dear boyfriend.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We where mildly intoxicated, I had been drinking alcohol all night, but not too much. I can’t remember him being other than mildly over average cheerful.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I had no expectations and no hard feelings. It was my first one night stand, I was well away in my twenties, I knew what I did and actually I felt good about it. The feeling of freedom and self esteem that followed was nurturing and good for me. I had a bit of contempt for him afterwards, though, I must admit. It was something abut the golf gear and the grandmother-interior-thing. He even had a picture of his mum and dad on his bedtable. Maybe I thought of him a bit like a daddy’s boy, as we say in Norway. And maybe, come to think about it, it was to exterminate that tiny bit of irritating hurt feelings I had after all for him not letting me stay for breakfast. Maybe it turned out to be a little bit over-the-top-cynical for my taste. In fact I didn’t do a one-nighter again for another 15 years.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my best girlfriends (two or three) and they patted me on the back and laughed at my story about the grandmother chair covers and the golf bag. I was not a golf-gear-girl in those days. I’m still not… I have got both bad and good reactions from later boyfriends when I tell the story. Most of them have been laughing and relieved it was one of my only two one-night-stands.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was to obtain a strangers attention and getting that bodily warmth, sex and dedication for those hours. I needed it then.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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