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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 60
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Housewife
What’s your current relationship status?
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? More than 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

My Introduction To Casual Sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? When I was 19

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Carl was my husband’s sponsor. He was an incredibly handsome black man, tall, slim, and fit, but then all the men in the unit were. I always liked listening to him as he taught us a lot of the ins and outs of living in a foreign country. He was very easy to like, and he just had that type of demeanor and besides that unit overseas was like a family.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Short version, Carl was helping me clean up after the boys had stopped in for beer and weed before they went off to party. My husband was passed out in his bean bag chair. We both thought it was funny and made a joke of him being a lightweight. He asked me to join him for a beer, and I told him I didn’t like beer because it made me feel bloated. He laughed at that and said that he didn’t like it either pulled out this bottle of cognac and we sipped on that, and then he asked me if I wanted to get high. I told him that I’d never done that and said that I needed to take it easy. So we smoked a joint, and we were laughing because I said it wasn’t doing anything for me and we did some more. I’m going to say the combination was quickly making a lot of my inhibitions slip away. I didn’t think about anything happening at the beginning after all my husband was there in the room snoring. But our conversation was getting intimate. Also, I was becoming fascinated because of Carl’s attention and interest in me. Where I grew up, and other life experiences. I had grown up in an all-white area, and I was enjoying our banter. I guess that our body language was talking to each other as we were sitting on the couch and I left my hand rest on his thigh, and we were both comfortable with it. The next thing I know is we are talking about sex, and I was getting very horny. I brought my hand further up his thigh and touched his penis, the next thing we were kissing and cuddling. We both stopped at the same time, looked at my husband sleeping and mutually got up and went into the bedroom

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Once we got into the bedroom all I wanted to do was get naked, but he undressed me very slowly, kissing passionately, exploring each other’s body. I had an orgasm while he massaged my pussy. His package was big, a two-hander and big sack and balls. He didn’t rush. The sex was mind-blowing. He wanted me to be vocal, I wasn’t at the beginning, but honestly, I think I started begging for him to do me.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It was a very long session, and we cuddled and kissed after he finished in me. As much as we both enjoyed it, we were both aware that he had to leave. I took a shower and cleaned up before I went out and dragged hubby back to bed. There was something so naughty yet such a turn on about sleeping where I’d just had sex with another man. It was a nice fling, and we did it a couple more times, but I knew deep down he was a player and there was no future with him. He will always be special to me though.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one until now

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Carl taught me so much about enjoying sex.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I was a 19-year-old and while I didn’t even think about STD’s, every time we had sex I let him finish inside me. Because I loved the way it felt and the silly girl I was didn’t know how to tell him not to.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it did. My husband never found out, and I learned to value myself. Funny, while my husband never found out about this episode we communicated our desires much better and the honesty grew between us.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Of course, my husband spent 25 years in the service and he had several unaccompanied tours. I am sure that he had his needs meets by someone. At that time I never asked him. Of course, I had my needs meet too and he didn’t ask either. Funny, it wasn’t until he developed ED did we even discuss that part of our sex lives. We just knew. I wish that we had been more open about it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I wish that it would have been around when i was younger. Still, it is a barometer for how attitudes have changed on casual sex.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!