by

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Paralegal
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

My Sex Diaries I

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met Lee at school. He’s just a standard Chinese guy. (This was back when I lived in China) We both ran track and played sports, but I wouldn’t say he was attractive. I just thought he liked me. I had a crush on him because I thought he was cool and he gave me attention. He was also 18 so he was older than me, which I thought was cool. (The legal age in China for sex is 14 – at least in my province – so it was all fair)

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He basically just waited for me at my family’s apartment one day. We went inside and no one was home so we started messing around. He got out a condom and I told him I was a virgin and he told me he loved me (-.-) and we fucked.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The sex was pretty standard. I sucked his dick, and he gave me oral and then he penetrated me. He wasn’t very good and wasn’t very gentle, so it basically just hurt. I orgasmed lightly when he gave me oral, but really pretended it was all a lot better than it actually was. Also, his dick was small honestly, and he wasn’t very attractive. I liked the cuddling afterwards more than the sex, but even the emotional pleasure was destroyed when he told me he had a girlfriend.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt like a whore and cried a lot a few days later when I found out about his girlfriend. I hated him and never want to see him again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My mother. She wasn’t thrilled.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? Because he lied to me to get laid and I felt like a whore, and besides the sex wasn’t good.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The light orgasm during the oral I guess.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Emotional pain

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, losing my virginity in this manner changed my life. On the one hand, I became a slut afterward, but on the other hand, I am now proud of my adventures and my husband has encouraged me to write about them so that I don’t feel so ashamed of my past. His american culture is much more open minded than my chinese cultural background. This is my first sex diary because I have probably a dozen more to share and this is the beginning.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has on the one hand been very dangerous for me but has also opened my life to immeasurable pleasure.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a good way to talk to a receptive community.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!