What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 46
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA, Chicago suburbs
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? I.T.
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 31
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
My Sexy Goth Friend
How long ago did this hookup happen? About 20 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? L was a 20-something goth girl. Long black hair and a slender build. Very attractive. We met through mutual friends and started hanging out and going to dance clubs together. I mostly had been with curvy women so I found her body type intriguing and loved her clothing style. But up until this point, we were just friends.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it?
It started at a goth club we used to frequent. I had just had a disappointing experience with a girl whom I went on a few dates with and I was venting about it to her. Somehow we ended up kissing.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?
We decided to go back to her place which wasn’t that far. I found out in the car she wasn’t wearing any panties and was completely shaved, which was the first time I had seen that on a girl. She was blowing me in the car while I drove, on all fours so I could finger her from behind. We put on a bit of an unintentional show for folks on the sidewalk during a red light. We got back to her place, got naked and had sex. It was fairly normal sex, good but not great.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, I thought we would be friends with benefits but somehow that all fell through. I think I misread her and that she perhaps wanted more from me.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Just happened, I don’t know why and I just went along with it. It was easy/convenient.
How intoxicated were you? A small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? She gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I think I misread her intentions and then came off like I didn’t care. I liked her a lot and didn’t want to hurt her if I did. I regret that I didn’t handle the situation with more maturity, regardless of the outcome.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Sex with a sexy goth girl. Finding out someone I thought was hot and out of my league found me just as attractive as I found her.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The sex itself was fairly pedestrian.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It gave me confidence in a time where my self-image needed a boost.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I wish I knew where I could find L today. I regret losing contact with her and thus losing her friendship and I wish we could reconnect.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is great and regret that our society is too anxious about it to embrace it fully.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a good idea.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!