Age: 38/21 Then
Current location: Columbus, OH
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Personal Trailer/Physical Therapist
Relationship status: Committed
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 40+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? Four
How long ago did this hookup happen? Seventeen Years
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Sex with a Superior
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? S was tall, handsome with dark hair and in his thirties and I still remember how muscular he was. He was my commanding officer on base and someone I reported directly to, I met him the first day I was stationed there. I knew he was divorced and had a few kids. I liked him and we had been hooking up a while when this happened.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? As I said S was my direct superior and I had been reporting to him since my transfer. I should also share he was an actual officer in charge of my unit. One evening we had run into each other off base, gotten drunk and woke up in bed the next morning. I will avoid sharing too much detail here.
We had started hooking up regularly a few months before this, at least a few times a week. We had to keep it quiet, as such relationships were forbidden and potentially quite damaging to both our careers.
This was pretty standard for us, he called me to his office.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? This was a pretty standard hookup for S and me, he had me lock the door. Mostly he liked to fondle my boobs a bit and then bend me over the desk and pull my pants down. He entered me, and fucked me from behind. Part of me got off on his taking control and the risk of being caught. He finished inside me, and then went a little longer until I had an orgasm.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Yes we both did
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We didn’t use protection but S was clean and I was very religious and careful with my birth control during this time.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I wanted to.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Only that first hookup, afterwards not usually.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I hooked up with S regularly until I left the Army, it went on for about eighteen months. He liked to fuck me in his office and he had off base housing so when it could be arranged, he arranged it quite a bit, we would also meet there.
S got increasingly controlling and manipulative and on some levels mentally abusive towards me. I requested a transfer which he blocked and I tried to break it off with him but S wouldn’t let me. He was my superior and hard to go against in any way, and I was conditioned not to.
It was a bit of a different Army then, and as I have said I am proud of my service to country but it was not a great place for a bisexual woman. A big factor in my decision to leave the Army was to get away from S and it was how I was finally able to break things off.
Now I will admit early on I really enjoyed this relationship, the sex and the forbidden aspect of it. However as it went on and S got abusive I am not proud of how I handled it, I don’t think the person of today would have put up with him. I haven’t heard from S since I left the Army.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only ever told a few trusted people, my ex Brandi and my current boyfriend about the real reason I left the Army. Both were supportive.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? I would say yes, but as soldiers we were always conditioned to follow the orders of superiors so I always felt pressured to when S and I hooked up.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Quite a bit, I do regret hooking up with a superior and being in an abusive relationship
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not sure there really was a good part, but I have always been careful to avoid abusive partners since. As I said above, I did decide to leave the Army to get away from S. Looking back I wish I had at least anonymously reported S.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
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