What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 51
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Chicago
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Merchandising
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13 or 14
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? zero
Nearly Needing A Defibrillator
How long ago did this hookup happen? When I was 40
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Katherine was a working girl at one of the legal brothels (“ranches” as they are known) in Nevada. She had medium length dirty blonde hair, a mischievous smile and a rockin’ body, including lips absolutely made for performing fellatio. We’d met briefly on one of my prior visits to that ranch. I knew I wanted to party (the ranch term for any paid sexual encounter) with her as soon as I met her, though I’d already committed to a party with another lady at that point. Reading her profile on the ranch’s web site fixed in my head the idea that I HAD to have her on my next trip to the ranch.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? About two months before my next trip to Vegas, I e-mailed Katherine to make sure she’d be available when I next visited the ranch and we set the date/time of our party after a few back-and-forth messages. When I arrived, as is my custom at the ranch, I grabbed some liquid courage and waited for her at the bar. She didn’t remember me until I jogged her memory with a few details of our prior meeting. Her eyes lit up and I had the feeling I was going to receive some extra special attention as we moved to a booth away from the bar. As we did, I grabbed a bag I’d brought along that I like to call my Boy Scout Brothel Preparedness kit which, aside from a toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant, contained a small gift for my party partner and a slightly bigger one for the rest of the ladies at the ranch to share. In this case, it was chocolates all around. After I’d given Katherine her box, I moved to put the larger box at the bar, announcing its contents to the other ladies present. Four ladies who were seated at a booth near Katherine and me almost mugged me with thank-yous, so excited were they for the unexpected treat. Katherine eventually pulled me away from the foursome and we returned to our booth, finishing all but two of her chocolates (those, she said, were for after our party,) and continuing our flirtation, including a crazy game of footsie.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We gave each other oral, had vaginal intercourse in three positions (missionary, cowgirl, doggy style) with lots of kissing, fondling and sucking. She was the aggressor, nearly pinning me to the bed as she moved to perform oral on me. We were going at it like the last two people on earth. For me, it was nearly an out of body experience. We didn’t do too much talking … much too occupied with other things. It ended with her climbing on top of me, whispering silly things in my ear and playing with my chest hair.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We returned to the bar to chat until it was time for me to say goodbye. The next morning I woke up with the biggest stupidest grin on my face, reliving the prior day’s encounter and thinking of when my next trip to the ranch and party with Katherine would be. Even though I learned she left the prostitution business when I began planning my next Vegas vacation, I still look back and, to this day, think of her very fondly since she, for a brief two hours or so, made me feel the way I’d like to feel permanently — happy, silly, excited, etc.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? There were two or three working girls sitting at the bar when we returned. One of them, seeing my labored breathing and irregular strides, asked me if I needed some assistance. I replied, “I feel like I might need a defibrillator. And I’m gonna have her pay for it,” pointing to Katherine. All the women laughed loudly, smiled and nodded their heads at each other, silently confirming “Another happy customer.” They didn’t know how right they were.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It made me feel like the horndog teenager that I once was
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It didn’t last long enough. We probably could have gone at it for another hour or so.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It convinced me that I’m much more interested in sex than I figured, considering that I’d only lost my virginity at age 38
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? If it weren’t for casual sex (and the Nevada brothels, in particular) I’m sure I’d be even more mentally mucked up than I already am. As long it’s done with protection, I see no big problems with casual sex. Our society’s antiquated views about it (and sex in general) really have to change.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s very informative and interesting to read others’ viewpoints about casual sex. I’d hope somebody would be able to use the Project to start changing our country’s beliefs about sex generally.
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