What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New York City
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Researcher
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: meh?
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? uh…..300? 400?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
I Needed a Little Strange from a Gentleman
How long ago did this hookup happen? Yesterday
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is half Asian, half White, about 5’10, about 5 years younger than me with a baby face, hairless and in good shape. I met him at a sex party and we fooled around a little bit but he was pretty occupied with his boyfriend and I was pretty occupied with mine at the time. I thought he was very sweet, and felt very safe with him as he was slow in his approach and checked in with me about the things he was doing. Being with someone who is very consent driven makes me feel safe with the person and I’m generally willing to do more than when things are done to me without asking first.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The partner I live with was on a much-needed and long-overdue solo date with his other girlfriend. My plans for the night were canceled but I wanted to give them space so I planned to do some crafting with a friend of mine. But all day at work I just couldn’t get my mind off of how horny I was. For the past few months I’ve had very little sex drive for anyone but the partner that I live with, and our sex had been happening less and less frequently as our new relationship energy faded and we got busy with other things. But that day, something changed in me and I was wiggling in my seat at work because I could feel my pussy throbbing. I thought “I have to take care of this!” I wish it were easy for me to masturbate in a bathroom, but unfortunately it’s not. Also, there has been a little ‘drama’ in my polycule lately with new relationships forming and others waning, so while I had some “crushes” that I would be interested in hooking up with that I knew pretty well, I wanted something easy, convenient, safe, and with as little drama potential as possible. Especially since this was my first “booty call” while in my relationship, and my partner was having some tension leading up to a heavy (but productive and needed) conversation with his other partner. I didn’t want to cause any added stress to him, but still wanted to satisfy my needs.
I first texted a regular partner of mine to see if she was available, but she was kind of busy and I would have to wait to meet up with her. Plus, I was kind of craving male energy and she is a woman, so it wasn’t *quite* what I was looking for at the moment, though I love her and would have had fun anyway. Then I thought of this guy. I had seen him a couple of weeks before at a party and he was just as cute as I remember. And outside of a sexual situation (again, we met at a sex party), he was just as cool! He had messaged me a few days prior to invite me to some event but wasn’t pushy and was just all around awesome, in the limited capacity that I knew him. I texted him and asked what he was up to–he said he was going to a friend’s for dinner but asked why I was wondering. I told him strait up that I felt like a cat in heat and thought of him. He told me that I could come over but he had to leave by 7:30 (gave us about an hour)–which was perfect. He was 20 minutes away from where I was and I would still have time to go craft afterward! I told him I would be right over. I said his boyfriend was welcome to join us, but unfortunately he was busy at the time.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As sweet as can be, he let me into the apartment and where there were candles lit, incense burning, and the faint smell of marijuana. He offered me some and I took a hit, just enough to relax but not enough to be stoned out of my mind. There was only about 5 seconds of awkwardness before we started kissing. He is definitely a good kisser, but this I remember. It was nice to be able to fully zone in with him, as I hadn’t had a new male partner for solo sex in quite a while. As we made out, we ran our hands along each others bodies. He gently grabbed my hair, I kissed his neck, and I took his shirt off first. He suggested that we go to the bed, but before we got there, he pushed me against the side of his book shelf and planted my body with firm touch and kisses. In between kisses, we kept looking into each others eyes and smiling, then reaching in for more. After taking my clothes off (he still had his pants and boxers on), he knelt down and started going down on me. I haven’t had anyone do that for quite a while so it was really nice and unique for me. After a while, he laid me down on the bed, put some lube on his fingers, and started rubbing my pussy with his hands. When he stopped, I flipped him over and started grinding on him while kissing him deeply and passionately. I asked if I could suck his dick and he said yes, pulling his pants down. I loved the size of his cock because it was a bit smaller than what I was used to, so I could deep throat it with ease and feel it hitting the back of my throat. He asked if I liked throat fucking and I groaned a yes, so he begin thrusting into my mouth. SO HOT! Usually with bigger dicks that’s uncomfortable and invasive so this was QUITE a pleasant change. I asked if he had any non-latex condoms (I did in my purse but it was on the other side of the room) and he showed me a selection that he had to choose from, which included my favorite brand! I slipped one on with my mouth and climbed back up to ride him. We ended up fucking for at least 40 minutes strait in maybe 5 or 6 different positions. It was so much different than what I’m used to! Given that he’s several years younger than me and I have a substantial amount of sexual experience (in general–not even just for my age), I almost felt like a cougar. He was fucking me hard and fast with the energy of a bunny, hitting spots hard that are too sensitive to be hit with larger dicks, and throwing me around into positions that I hadn’t been in in a while. We would look intensely into each others’ eyes while we were fucking, watching each other pant. I saw how sweaty he was getting on his soft, hairless body (all of my regular male partners are furry), so turned on by how he looked all glistening from the sweat he was making for me that I ferociously started kissing and licking the sweat from his body. At one point, I recognized that we had been going at it for a while, and told him “I could keep going for quite a while, but I know you have somewhere to be and want to be respectful of your time.” He thanked me, fucked me hard for a few more minutes, and then asked if I had any final requests before we stopped. What a gentleman! I was happy as a clam and as satisfied as I was going to be in that experience, so we snuggled up with each other for a few minutes to bask in our after glow and gently touch each other to cool down. Neither of us came, but I think it was an entirely successful fuck session. I also really appreciated that, if he wasn’t going to cum, he didn’t use my body to try super hard to. I’ve had sex partners like that and it just feels frustrating. He seemed perfectly content with not cumming, as was I. Just an overall great experience. He gave me some more kisses, gave me a little warning so that I could get ready to leave without feeling rushed, and gave me a kiss and a sweet smile on the way out. It was just exactly what I needed.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He texted me about an hour later thanking me for the experience, told me that he was available for me any time I wanted to come by after work for a quicky, and then also invited me and my partner out with him and his partner over the weekend to a party. He also sent me dance videos that were posted on youtube, as per my request 🙂 He was the perfect gentleman 🙂
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, No cumming
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Making new friends, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my live-in partner that I was going to see him before I did, but I didn’t tell him that it was for a booty call until the next day after he was less stressed about the heavy conversation he had. It was all within the parameters of our relationship and done responsibly, so he was fine with it. If anything, wished he had been able to provide that for me, but I also told him that I was specifically craving novelty, ease, and convenience. This experience was all of those things.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was just exactly what I wanted. I felt confident, sexy, empowered, cared for, safe, considered, and pleasured. It wasn’t super kinky, there was no real dominant nor submissive partner (which I like, but wasn’t in the mood for), he was super polite and respectful, and just overall awesome.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The bed broke and we were trying to fuck doggy style on the side of the bed but couldn’t because it kept hurting my legs 🙁 BOO!
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Nah.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I generally prefer getting to know someone pretty well before having sex with them. And generally, if I have sex with them, I want to know that there is a possibility for more sex with them in the future. But every once in a while, I just want a little uncomplicated strange.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Yay!
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