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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 41
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Toronto, Canada
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Marketing
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20 to 30 give or take
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Neighbours Banging During A One Night Stand

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2011

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was in her early 30s, and she was the kind of woman that grabs the attention of a room. We could hear her coming up the hall from the sound of her heels. She was dressed elegant and flashy. You could smell her fragrance when she walked past. She was of average height, slim, with a nice body, and blond hair, which I later found out was dyed (her natural hair color was brown). She’s attention-seeking and came across like she was too good for most guys, which was what drew me to her. I had my own issues at the time though. I was in a space where I wanted a conquest and she looked like a good challenge. I looked her in the eyes and was confident in way that I still remember after all these years. She was attracted to me and things went well that night.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met up again about a week later at some big industry party. There was a lot of alcohol, but hardly any food. I escaped with her to a nearby bar to get something to eat. We were hitting it off with lots of touching and we started kissing. When it got late, I drove her back to her apartment and she invited me up. I remember her telling me that her apartment was a mess and she asked would I judge her for that. I told her something like busy professionals like us have no time. I wanted to reassure her, and she liked that. When we got inside her apartment, she made me sit in her living room while she walked around, quickly cleaning up. The sound of her heels clacking on the floor as she moved around was annoying me. I got up and grabbed her and told her to forget about tidying up because we wanted each other now.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We made out in the living room and then in the bedroom. She gave me oral sex and then we started having sex. I bent her over and gave it to her doggie style and then flipped her over to do it missionary style. We changed positions back and forth like that a few times. After a while, one of her neighbours started banging on the wall. We kept going and she loved it. She was really loud. About 10 or 20 minutes later, the neighbour started banging on the wall again, and then another neighbour did the same. I wanted to finish up, but I couldn’t for psychological reasons. I started jackhammering into her, missionary style, with her legs pulled all the way up. She was screaming by then, but I couldn’t cum for a while. I was pounding like a porn star and she seemed to love it, but I was not enjoying it as I thought I would. Eventually, I came, and I collapsed onto her.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The sex was sweaty and intense, but I didn’t find it fulfilling. She liked it though. Afterward, she went to take a shower. That’s when I grabbed my clothes and left. Yes, it seemed like an asshole thing to do, but I was pretty screwed up at that point in my life as well. When I opened the door of her apartment to leave, one of the neighbours that had been banging on the wall was standing outside the door taping a note to it. We were both surprised to see each other. She said we were loud and to please keep it down. She said this happens a lot and that this was just too much. That surprised me to learn that she was having a lot more sex with who knows how many guys. Anyway, I apologized quickly. I also wanted to leave before she came out of the shower, so I closed the door behind me and quickly started to make my way down the hall. The neighbour was still standing at the door bewildered and continued to put the note on the door. I didn’t want to stand there looking at each other, waiting for the elevator, so I took the stairs out of the building.

After that night, I did my best to avoid her. We worked in the same industry so it turned out to be a bit of a hassle. I didn’t want to show up at an industry event and see her there.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? To feel better about myself, Power / Dominance, Revenge / Getting even

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Cocaine

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a colleague about wanting to avoid her but did not tell him about the one-night stand. I wanted him to help me check that she wasn’t somewhere before I showed up. I’m sure he figured something happened.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? The consequences of trying to avoid her was a problem for about a year afterward. I also realized that leaving right after sex, while she was in the shower, and without saying anything was pretty disrespectful, but I had a lot of issues at the time, and I admit that I still do.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having sex, which was what I set out to do. I was attracted to the concept of seducing this particular person, though she is not the kind of person I would like to be in a relationship with.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? See the above. Also, I got a parking ticket for parking in the apartment parking area without a permit at that hour of the night.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I stopped having casual sex. I also stopped actively trying to date. I’m just hunkering down and redefining myself, but it’s taken a while as there were a few other speed bumps in my career and personal life. Since that time, I’ve had sex with only five other women and only when we were dating casually.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!