by Emma


Gender: Female
Age: 35
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Canada
Highest education received: High school diploma
How religious are you? A little
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Never Again

How long ago did this hookup happen? Today How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? A Mistake Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I didn’t know him well at all, I met him online for the purpose of having sex and we discussed our wants, limits etc. beforehand. He was not attractive, had a big beer belly and stunk of booze and cheap cologne. How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He came to my apartment for the purpose of having sex. What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As soon as I opened the door he was all over me, kissing me, grabbing my ass etc. We went to the couch and he pulled off my shorts and started fingering me, then he puts his face down there and started biting me, hard! I told him it hurt and he said he didn’t care. He pulled up my shirt and started biting my nipples and smacking my breasts. Then he went back to fingering me and more biting and when I told him it hurt he slapped me in the face repeatedly and then it was more fingering, slapping and biting. I started crying and told him he was hurting me and he asked me if I liked it!?! I told him no and asked him to stop and he put both his hands around my neck and choked me and when I tried to pull his hands off he pinned down my one arm and continued to choke me. Then he finally got hard and rammed himself in me and when he asked me if I liked it I just said yes. He got off in me and left. Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? He did I did NOT. What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None. We did discuss beforehand out histories and he told me he “was fixed”. What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Horny, single, lonely Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? He reeked of booze. What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I feel stupid, filthy and embarrassed. I am in pain. My right breast is all bruised and my crotch hurts like hell I want to shower and can’t, I can barely walk and can’t stop crying. I hope I never ever see him again!!! To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A friend and I am too embarrassed to tell her what happened so I am avoiding her calls. Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? I don’t know. I mean originally yes we hooked up for sex but I didn’t want to be hurt and when I told him to stop because he was hurting me he wouldn’t and after being slapped, choked and asked repeatedly if “this is what I wanted” while being told he didn’t care and wouldn’t stop I changed my answer from no to yes in hopes it would make him happy so it would end. Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes!! It was awful, he hurt me, I was scared and am still in pain! What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The only good thing was him leaving and being able to lock the door and knowing he is never coming back!!!!
I don’t know what to think, my head is spinning. I cannot believe how stupid I am!!!!! All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Be careful because when things don’t go as planned you are SOL and on your own.
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Amanda