by Chickenwangz

Gender: Female
Age: 24
Race/ethnicity: Chinese, Mongolian, Russian
Location: Upstate NY
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Grad Student, Teacher
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Never Build Off Of a Hookup

How long ago did this hookup happen? A year and a half ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck Buddies turning into a relationship

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was the hot guy on campus: amazingly successful, tall, very handsome, charming, etc, all the things that will light up a girl’s face when you see him. I didn’t know him too well but we’ve always been on friendly terms. We’ve never hooked up before because I never thought he’d be attracted to me in the first place. I met him while he was playing the piano alone. As a pianist, I walked in and listened. We talked afterwards, and played together for a little bit. I never felt something special before the hookup, he was just someone who had it all, and I didn’t even think about pursuing that.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began when I started pursuing. We went to my boss’s concert one night because I wanted to bring a guy with me instead of going alone. We had a great time, I was a little drunk but still clear headed. I think I knew he was actually interested when he put his arm around me at the show, maybe some planning was involved on my part, but probably not his part. Oh well, there is no way to find out now. We went to a shitty diner after the show at 1 in the morning, and then we went back to his dorm room. It was awkward because although I have casually hooked up with guys before, I did not know that night would have led to the first time we had sex.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was your typical college hookup. In the dorm room, started by kissing during a movie, and then old fashioned heterosexual intercourse followed by a shower. He was very nice, detached, but nice. We talked about surface level things: movies, school blah blah blah. Nothing serious. It did not end there, for the next a year and a half, it turned into a heart-breaking dreadful relationship that I regret because it began as casual sex.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condoms. I was also on oral contraceptives for women.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was attracted to him. I had gotten out of an extremely disappointing relationship with a guy who behaved very poorly a few months before the hookup. I was emotionally available, and having someone new to focus on sounded like a good idea.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol on my part, about 3-4 drinks. Not on his part.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, I didn’t want to get attached and I was busy finishing up my senior projects so I distanced myself. But we kept in touch. And then the worst thing happened, I got attached, he wasn’t. One time hookup is cool and all, but if you keep doing it you gotta be careful. I started seeing myself with him, and then we were in a long distance relationship for about a year. We broke up, due to many a reason, and I am still getting over the relationship.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My close friends. They congratulated me, but didn’t say much.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I don’t regret the hookup itself, at the time there was nothing wrong with it. What I regret mostly is that we built our relationship off of one night of casual sex when we were about to graduate college and lead very different lives.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing is that it brought this guy to my life that meant much more than a hookup. The worst thing is that, sigh, as a girl, it’s still hard to separate pure sex from intimacy, attraction, love and all that bullshit if a hookup is not all you want anymore. And when you realize this person can actually mean something in your life, you regret giving it up so early, and never thinking about the long run from the beginning. This hookup taught me that if you want something serious, or have the potential, don’t lie to yourself about being able to just have sex with someone and not talk to them again.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!