Current location: Pacific Northwest
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One night stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was in her late 40’s and looked quite good for her age. She was probably stunning when she was younger. She was slender, had not-quite shoulder-length blondish hair, hazel eyes, and in most contexts would completely escape my notice.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was at a bar that I frequent, not sure if I was really fit to be in public. I had just learned that a friend had died suddenly and was figuring out how to deal with that. Just as I was thinking I should leave, a woman at the end of the bar began talking to no one in particular about the recent death of her stepson. This made the rest of the room inclined to avoid her, but gave me an opportunity to open up to someone who could understand what I felt. She needed support more than I did. We talked at length. I tried to steer the subject away from our losses by telling stories. As I told stories one after the other, she moved gradually closer to me until she was pressed close to me with her arm around me. She felt safe and comfortable with me. Maybe a little too comfortable. She kissed me. She spoke about her son and cried. She kissed me again. The people around us were becoming noticeably uncomfortable, so I offered to walk her home. My primary intent was to look out for her because I felt responsible for her. The implied suggestion of sex was real, but secondary. She agreed without hesitation. This was roughly an hour after we first met. On the way to her apartment she told me that she’s never hooked up with a stranger before, that it wasn’t her intent, that it wasn’t how she expected things to turn out. She told me these things repeatedly during our encounter. It was obviously important to her that I believed her. I told her the same was true for me, but she seemed far less concerned about my history than she was about my view of hers.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As soon as we arrived, she excused herself to use the restroom. I took off my shoes and waited for her. When she came out, she complained that my clothes were still on and began removing hers as we kissed. I undressed more slowly than she did, as I was focusing my attention on her body as more and more of it came into view. When she was down to her panties, she climbed into the bed, watched me remove the rest of my clothes, then asked me to turn off the lights. She told me she’s very submissive. She told me she likes it rough. I peeled off her panties and began exploring her body. She didn’t seem interested in foreplay. I took my time anyway. I kissed her breasts, I rubbed my beard over her inner thigh, I bit her at the base of her thigh and she screamed “YES!” I went down on her as she begged me to fuck her. Soon enough, I did. It seemed like I’d barely begun when she gasped “oh my god, I’m about to cum”. I asked, “Really?” Her expression of wild abandon, the pattern of her breathing, and soon the contractions I could feel pulsing in her vagina told me “Yes, really.” Because she had gotten off so quickly, I let myself get off quickly as well and soon we were bathing in afterglow and catching our breath.
“You’re pretty good at this,” she said, and I tried to demure modestly. “You’ve been told that before.” she said, and it was a statement, not a question. At this point, I’ll mention a few things about my sexual life. For one thing, there hasn’t been much of it. It’s always been a source of frustration for me that sex seems so available to everyone else, and so elusive to me. Prior to this, it had been a couple of years since I’d had sex. Now, suddenly and unexpectedly I found myself with a woman who’s clearly, unmistakably, and intensely turned on by me, and I wanted more. I felt sexy, I felt virile, and I felt good. I completely lost myself in her after this. It seemed that everything I did was exactly what she wanted. She said she liked it rough, and I gave it to her rough. I pulled her hair, bit her on the neck, on the tit, on the leg, smacked her ass, choked her, and she called out, “Yes! that’s the way I like it!” I don’t know how many times I fucked her, but it was something more than five. Maybe 6? Maybe 7? Who knows. In between rounds we lay together gently stroking each other’s bodies and sharing stories. She told me she liked it that I could alternate between being so rough and being so gentle. She told me she liked my eyes, that she liked my beard, that she liked the sound of my voice, that she liked the feel of my weight on top of her. She said my name over and over. She touched my cock to see if it was hard, then asked me to fuck her again. I was there for about three hours. When I finally left, I was exhausted and happy. I could almost describe her as giddy. It took a long time to leave as she kept wanting one last hug, one last kiss, and I had no desire to say no.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? We both had several.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We took no precautions. There wasn’t any discussion specifically about STI history, but we shared information about our sexual histories over the course of the encounter.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? We had both recently lost someone close to us and needed something to distract us. We were both in need of intimate contact. For me, I have a limited history with women and was feeling especially hopeless about that at the time. For her, she had recently ended an 18 year marriage and was living far from friends and family. We were each exactly what the other needed at the time.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We had both been drinking. I don’t know how much she had to drink, but it appeared to be far more than I had.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt good about it after it happened. It occupied enough of my thoughts that it pushed away some of the sadness and loss from my friend’s death at the time when that was hardest to deal with, and that was a good thing. I also felt attractive and sexy in a way that I haven’t in a very long time. I have no hopes or expectations for the future with her. She confirmed this a few weeks after it happened with a text message. She wrote that she was moving to be closer to her family, that she was excited to start a new life and wanted to thank me for being a part of it. She said she hoped I find someone who’s right for me, that I deserve that, and that she enjoyed the time she spent with me.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a couple of friends that this happened as part of my mourning process, and the responses have been very positive. I told them about how we met and how we ended up going home together, but didn’t mention any of the sexual details I’ve recounted here. While those details are important to me, they weren’t relevant to what I was telling my friends.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Good things about this – It helped me deal with grief, and it made me feel more attractive and confident. I believe it did the same for her. Sex is awesome, and this was awesome sex. Bad things about this – I feel a little embarrassed about making a scene at a bar I frequent. It’s changed the way I view casual sex in that now I feel I have a much more positive outlook on my sexual/romantic prospects than I have in a long time. It’s a cycle, and I know this will fade, but right now it feels good.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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