by Self aware

Gender: Female
Age: 53
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: Canada
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Technical/administration
Relationship status: Separated
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Curious
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

NICE

How long ago did this hookup happen? One month

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends-with-benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We used to work at the same place about 15 years ago but I didn’t really know him so when I saw him again, we said hi and the usual pleasantries. How are you? What have you been up to? He is so cute. Nice smile. Friendly. We had never hooked up before.  I was dancing and I noticed that he kept watching me. I went to the bar to get another drink and he came over and we talked some more. Than he asked me to dance. Than another guy asked me to dance so I did but when I turned to see if he was still there, he was and he was still watching me. It was hot. After the dance, I went and stood by him. He said it was getting late and he was tired. I said me too. I needed to get a cab but when we went outside there were no cabs. He said that he had a couple of beers in his room and did I want to come up?

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We saw each other at a music festival. No planning. We both instigated it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were having a beer and talking. He was at the headboard end of the bed and I was at the other. He asked me if I wanted to get more comfortable at his end. We started touching each other slowly. Then kissing. I can’t remember who kissed who first. The touching and kissing felt so good. He was awkwardly trying to get my bra off. I helped him. I asked him if he had a condom. He didn’t. I said I did.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Neither one of us did the first time. Could be because we had been drinking or we were a bit nervous. We did the 2nd and 3rd time.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom. We didn’t discuss STI’s.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I knew him from before and he felt safe.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We had both had 4 or 5 drinks over the course of 4 or so hours.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I said I should get a cab home (it was about 4 a.m.) and he said you are? Why don’t you stay? I said ok. Then he drove me home in the morning. We exchanged numbers. We both said that we weren’t ready for a relationship but he asked if I wanted to hang out again sometime? I said yes.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My sister. I think she’s happy for me although she doesn’t agree with hooking up.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, we both wanted it.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not yet. We’ve seen each other since. not sure what it is. no label.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing is the touching, penetrative sex and the joy of exploring a new person in a new relationship. I’ve never had a casual sex relationship. Is that an oxymoron? We don’t really talk much. Just sex. I’ve seen him twice since then. He asked me to another music event and he paid. Does that mean we’re in a relationship?

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I find myself wanting to define the relationship but then I realize that I don’t really want to define it. I just want to enjoy it for what it is right now. I get all tingly in my stomach when he texts that he’s in town and do I want company?  I do tend to text him more than he texts me though but mostly because he doesn’t have service where he lives so I would like to know if he plans on being around so I can shave, etc. I’m not sure how I feel about not having much control. I’m trying to let the tendency to control go. I like the sexual reawakening feeling in my body right now. I’v also been reading a lot of erotic stories and looking at some soft porn like lady cheeky.

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