What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? Australia
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Unsure / Questioning
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

No Pain No Pleasure

How long ago did this hookup happen? Ongoing

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? ‘Ben’ is tall, especially for someone small like me. Met him in the gym, went out the next day (not as a date) and I think he had the intention to fuck on that day but I had other plans. I’m usually not confident in guys being interested in me so I waited for more hints. He texted me later that day and the days following. I had a crush on someone else who I couldn’t have so Ben seemed like a great choice to distract myself.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We started to exchange steamy texts. I’d say we both instigated it but I was the one who made it a little clearer by texting things like ‘come to bed’ and ‘invite you home’. He came to my place one night, we had fun, and that led to many other nights/afternoons/mornings. Hence we’re now in a FWB relationship.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? There was this one time, at my place, things escalated a little. I feel safe around him and gradually let him know how rough I like it. Weirdly I enjoy pain more than I enjoy sex, but I do certainly enjoy pain even more when I’m being pleasured from sex. He brought a leash and attached it to my neck, tightly. The other end coiled around the bed frame and as he was pounding hard, he tightened the leash little by little and he didn’t stop when I was having trouble breathing. At some point I must have passed out from the stranglehold, all I remember was the next moment I ‘woke up’ he was still pounding fast and hard. And that felt kind of amaaaaaaazing. Even though I immediately realized how dangerous that was especially given the fact that later I learned he did not even notice I passed out. I didn’t care. I still don’t although I should. I did not have a virginal or clitoral orgasm but waking up from strangling definitely brought me euphoria. He also pinched me really hard on my butt, arms and chest that left me bruises for days. Luckily I do contact sport so the bruises are easily explained. He also likes biting, on my shoulders, arms, almost anywhere on the body. Those bite marks turn into bruises too. I haven’t let him bite me too hard, but I mean to try to let him bite until bleeding occurs.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He slept over and it wasn’t the first time. We both had work/study the next day. Probably also fucked in the morning but I can’t remeber. We aren’t in those strick fwb relationships where you just fuck and leave. Currently have no expectation to develop this into anything more than it is now, pretty sure he doesn’t give a fuck either. I feel less lonely around him and am enjoying his company, but my feelings are still reserved for my crush.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, I was feeling lonely, Boredom

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My GP lol. To get a mental care treatment plan since the thought of not waking up from being strangled to passed out during sex seems fine to me and maybe even a nice way to end life, worries me a little.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Other

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Waking up from passing out and the first thing I felt was a long deep stroke in my pussy bringing me absolute pleasure

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I could have died, maybe. Or brain damaged.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It didn’t occur to me before how much I enjoy pain and how in various ways I’m deliberately getting myself hurt. It did change my thoughts on casual sex, that it doesn’t have to be emotionless to have no strings attached. We occasionally eat together before or after sex, talk about serious things and always cuddle when we sleep. I feel great and enjoy doing all these, while not wanting a relationship with him.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We’re currently looking for a girl to join us for a threesome.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It’s important to me. It’s my stress relief strategy and my meditation. People should be less judgy about it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Awesome.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!