What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? South Korea
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? English Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Not a Very Interesting Story. Sorry.
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I recently described him to my friend as the “Korean Marlon Brando” from A Streetcar Named Desire. I think he took a lot of pride in his appearance, he was (objectively) handsome and fit. We began talking on a language learning app, he spoke fluent English and to be honest I had lost all hope in ever learning Korean. So instead of trying to teach me, he just became a friend. We decided to meet, went to a restaurant in my area. After dinner, because of the proximity to my apartment, we decided to go back to my place and have a drink.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? In my apartment we were watching something (I forget what) on my laptop. We were very close to each other, and although it was the first time we had met face to face I wasn’t uncomfortable or nervous. I felt like I knew this person fairly well. No real planning was involved, we hadn’t spoken to each other about the possibility we might have sex. However I had shaved and wore my nice underwear so clearly there was some internal dialogue going on.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was not long out of a very long term relationship, on my third hook up, but the first one I had actually wanted. The sex played out normally, kissing, foreplay, vaginal sex, oral sex. He came in my mouth and he told me no one had ever let him do that before, he seemed pretty thrilled that I had allowed him. To this day I don’t know what made it special, if it was something that he was doing or just the fact that I was having care free sex with someone I somewhat liked but for the first time in a long time I came vaginally. I also came during foreplay, which is also a rarity. He behaved like I had expected him to, the thing that drew me to him was is curt and sometimes cold demeanour. He often gave robotic responses in our conversations, he was always very honest no matter the consequences. In bed he was just as direct and straightforward, telling me what to do, where to go, sometimes holding me in place or stopping me from wriggling. It was aggressive and domineering but again that was what I wanted from him. We didn’t speak much after. We had sex two more times that night, I came the second time and faked it the third. By this point I think it was 4 in the morning. I love that he enjoyed having sex with me and it felt great to be desired but I just wanted to sleep.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day the only shame I felt was towards my neighbours. Korean apartments aren’t built very well and I’m certain the noise traveled perfectly through the walls. Whats worse is that my neighbour is my actual landlord. But overall I felt it was a very positive experience. We continued hooking up for the next few months, we even spent New Years Eve together. We still fuck from time to time but I think things are fizzling out. Honestly, I would have liked it to continue a bit longer but I didn’t (and still don’t) expect anything serious from him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Making new friends, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I spoke to my best friend about it who was thrilled that I had moved on from my relationship (I hadn’t told her about the previous 2)
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The good sex. Very good. Like 10/10.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing really, possibly the short time frame but that’s just how life goes.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I never held any prejudices about casual sex before but I think this experience taught me to try and be more willing to have casual sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Pretty much covered it.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Obviously I would like for women to be less stigmatised for wanting causal sex as much as men. Honestly casual sex hasn’t played a very big role in my life. Yet.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? A great way to honestly describe the things that may be too grisly to tell your friends and just generally get some stuff off your chest. All in the name of science.
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