What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Montreal
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Nothing On Underneath
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was of African American descent with a very sexy figure. She had a nice round butt and chest which were probably developed from dancing and working out. She was younger than me with a cute face and beautiful eyes although we had not anticipated any of this happening as we were in the same group of friends. I saw her as a friend whom we would share laughs and talk about life but we did not know each other as we had just met a month prior. She lived in a smaller neighboring city and wanted to visit so I offered to house her. I was not necessarily attracted to her before as she was not the type I usually go for nor did I think we had that much in common other than having the same friends. She taught as well and we were both anglophones living in Quebec.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We went with a couple mutual friends to a quiet bar with 80s music. I was new to the city so we didn’t know any hotspots and instead decided to go with a local’s suggestion of a small local bar. We started to get drunk but not enough to make an unconscious decision. On the dance floor we had made some advances but nothing substantial. It seemed like we were just dancing in a circle among friends. As it was getting late, we left the bar looking for food and while us and our two friends were walking, her and I walked together. We danced a lot and I asked how she was able to with the long dress she wore and she said, “I’m not wearing any panties.” As I stared in disbelief, she grabbed my hand and placed it on her ass to confirm that nothing was underneath her silky black dress. When we got food, I whispered, “I’ll have to check that again,” and discreetly felt her in front underneath the table while we were with our friends. Once we got to my house, I set out a foldout for the other two in the living room and told the girl that she can stay in my room. She changed out of her clothes with her back to me and I turned off the light.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I climbed into bed and almost immediately we started to make out. I reached down her pajama shorts and started caressing around her labia, teasing her just enough that she immediately felt the urge to grasp my cock. What took place next sent my head spinning. She asked me to fuck her hard and I split her legs and placed her in the missionary position on top of me. She went on her hind legs and put me in her right after we pulled each other’s clothes off. I had condoms but she did not give me time to get it as she was begging to have me inside her. When I was about to cum, she gave me oral and took me deep when I said I was ejaculating. She sucked out every last drop. I went down on her and when I had regained the energy, I took her from behind and came again in her mouth. In the morning we went for a third time while lying next to each other and I came on her chest. The whole time we were talking dirty and the excitement of our friends possibly hearing in the adjacent room made it all the more naughty.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We didn’t talk about it afterwards and nothing was expected. There was communal feelings of satisfaction and a lot of cuddling and making out in between. I felt adventurous and alive as I had not been intimate with someone for months. I also felt attractive and able to satisfy another human. Although there were no expectations, she told me that she loved visiting and to expect her to come often. I told her that she can always stay in my house.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, Making new friends, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A close friend who was present that night. They were shocked but wanted to know the details.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was completely unexpected and she was not shy to tell me what she wanted. I felt uninhibited to tell her how bad I wanted to fuck her and vice versa.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That she had to leave soon the next day and our friends in the adjacent room were up and wanting to go out to breakfast.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it put into perspective how what you may need/want at a certain point in time should not have stigma especially when consent is involved. I felt more assured of my sexuality and that although it was a one time thing, so many experiences occurred by just being completely open and in the moment
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? To be continued…
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I do not know if I would engage in casual sex as I am now in a relationship and feel sexually satisfied even more as emotions are involved. I think it is something that needs to be experienced and people should not be shamed for having once (or several times) engaged in casual sex as it can be a phase. Of course open relationships are sound as long as there is mutual understanding.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great way to put on the table real stories of casual sex and erase social stigma surrounding it. It makes me feel more human and accepting that casual sex occurs.
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