What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 60
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? None
What’s your current relationship status? Married, but open due to husband’s medical conditions
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? about a dozen
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Oh What Relief It Is
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks ago on vacation at Jamaica
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met Jon the first day on vacation in Jamaica. He was an extremely good looking black man, fit, in his late 40’s, well spoken, and a magnetic personality. I met him on a clothing optional beach. We were both nude, eliminating a lot of the jitters that comes with wondering what someone looks like. Even in the beginning I felt so comfortable. We sat there and enjoyed the sun, played in the surf and talked.
I told him I had arrived a few days earlier and that my husband was joining me in a few days as business had delayed him. He was there by himself.
He complemented me on my looks. I am in very good shape. He didn’t believe me when I told him that I had just turned 60. I was very flattered by that. He was so sincere, and it didn’t sound like a pick up line. I will admit that I didn’t out right tell him I was available but wanted to let him know through my body language and flirting.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He invited me to dinner. He didn’t think that I should eat alone. I told him my room number as he wanted to be a gentleman and walk me to dinner.
I have to say here that I have the greatest husband. We have been married 43 years. A long time ago we settled on what type of relationship our marriage was going to be. That said I hadn’t had penetration sex in 5 years. He has ED and CAD and can’t take magic blue pills. This vacation was his idea. He flat out told me that although we loved each other my demeanor had gotten edgy.
So I dressed sexy, with no bra and no panties. We walked holding hands, flirted ridiculously with each other, and when he asked if I wanted some company for the night I almost blurted out “What took you so long to ask?” but was coy enough to say “Of course”.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I am a bit of a queen size. My husband is very large, two hands and then some. It is so frustrating because his erections don’t last long. Jon had a very healthy package. We got back to the room, tore each others clothes off and I felt how stiff his erection was. It is hard to describe how emotionally satisfying it was.
It might have been foolish, but I let/needed him to finish inside me. I spent the next two days with him and jumped at every chance to have sex with him. He was a great lover, it was like he had ESP and knew what I wanted with out me asking. We had gentle love making, rough sex, and mutually satisfying oral sex. In between we were kissing like teenagers, fondling each other, laying naked soaked in sweat and our juices. Besides being erotic, I felt so relaxed, completely stress free.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We both knew that this was just a fling. He was in last days of his vacation and I had just started. We did exchange email addresses, and I’d like to contact him again, but haven’t.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Sterilization
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? As I have written, my husband and I have a very special relationship where we are bonded together but do not own each other. I had denied myself a long time because of his condition, I couldn’t find a discreet partner where we are currently living.
We don’t share details, we agree that cheapens the whole experence. So we didn’t talk about it. I do have a girlfriend who said how different I looked and she pestered me for details until I confided in her. She is aware of our life style and wants us to go back on a girls only vacation.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Other
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It is difficult to live with someone with ED. It crushed my husband and in some twisted way I felt guilty about it, even thought I had been with other men before his condition. It wasn’t till we had some therapy, found out his problem was due to genetics and accepted it, could I move on without feeling guilt.
When this happened I felt this great weight lift and strangely enough even more attached to my husband.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I wish that it could have lasted a little longer.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No, we didn’t plan our marriage this way, but casual sex has been a part of it from about the first year. We discovered that the excitment of meeting and sharing our bodies with someone else made our sex lives that much better. Yes, I have had more partners than my husband, he is more turned on by having a wife that is desired. We started this back when they didn’t have any definitions of this lifestyle. It isn’t cuckholding, hotwifing or swinging. It is more like the freedom and control of my body to share it with someone that I choose. It didn’t happen over night and there certainly were some bumps and of course it isn’t for everyone no matter what you see ar read.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Really it was like someone threw me a life saver when I needed one
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Our lifestyle is ours. It isn’t something that we put out there. We don’t share because of how society would react. My husband’s first career has us traveling all over the world. We had several period of work related separations.
Now we are both in our 60’s and we have finally settled back in the small town where we grew up. We both know that our lifestyle would be thought of as bizarre. Funny since grew up in the Hippie era, and those liberal values all but seem to be forgotten by the same generation that espoused them. Sad reflection on society
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Stumbled on it quite by accident and I love it.
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