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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 37
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Pooler, GA, USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Laborer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Complicated
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Exhibitionist
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30±
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

One Night Medium Distance Relationship

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 years

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met while working in a bookstore. We connected because neither of us would put on that peppy customer service face. She had that beautiful awkwardness of attractive women who aren’t impressed by their own looks. She was athletic, 6ft tall, and hypnotizingly curvy. She had pale skin and straight black hair.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? On a particular holiday eve, we were the only two people available to close the store. It was a slow day, so we finished our closing tasks before the doors were locked. Some ridiculous corporate policy demanded that employees not leave until an hour after close. We found ourselves sitting in the magazine section at 9 pm with an hour to kill.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?

“Really?” she said. “Exhibition?”
“You asked,” I said. “What’s yours?”
“I like being tied up,” she laughed, blushing.
“What is it you like about it?”
“I don’t know, the vulnerable feeling I guess?”
“It’s the same reason for me,” I said. “Try it sometime,” I said at her skeptical look, “it’s thrilling.”

My eyes were scanning the rows of magazines, so I didn’t notice she’d moved. When I looked back, she was staring at me, her knees hooked over opposite armrests. Her skirt lay open, matching red panties in shadow that I watched recede, as she inched her skirt up her thighs and around her waist.

“Take them off,” I said flatly.
She pulled her panties down by the waistband, lifting her rear to get them off. Her eyes never left my face, the panties crumpled on the floor in front of her chair. She smiled and I smiled back. She felt exposed and vulnerable and she liked it. But I could tell she craved what being restrained did for her. Loss of control excited her on a deeper level, and she was afraid to ask me to give it to her.

“Stand up,” I said, and she obeyed.
“Come here.” I could see the edge of fear in her eyes, as she stepped forward. Her hands shook as she stopped in front of me, looking shyly up at me even though she towered above where I sat.
“You’ll do everything I tell you to,” I commanded. “If you don’t, you’ll have to be punished, do you understand?” I watched her nod, eyes wide.
“Turn around.”
“Bend over and pull your skirt down.” Her knees quivered, but she bent over, revealing what she would never show to a stranger. I stood up and closed the distance, and bending forward I whispered, “I own you.”
“Say it.”
“You own me.”
“I can do anything to you I want, can’t I?”
“Yes.”
“Say it.”
“Do anything you want to me.”
As she spoke, I reached between her thighs, pressing my fingers between her lips, and stroked my fingertips upward, sliding between her buttocks. I felt her whole body shiver. No one had ever touched her like that before, in that private and taboo place. I pressed against it with one fingertip and whispered to her again as she whimpered. “You want to be used, don’t you?” Her head nodded slightly. “You want me to use you, like a cheap toy to play with?” She nodded.
“Say it.”
“Please,” her voice trembled, “use me. Take me however you want.”

I closed one hand around her throat and pushed her into a chair on her knees. I was rough with her, not caring if I hurt her, and after she climaxed, she hid her face against my chest and sobbed. I held her gently, stroking the back of her head, telling her how beautiful and special she was.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We didn’t see each other until after the holiday. I could tell how awkward and nervous she felt, regretting what she’d done.
“Hey.”
“Oh–hey…”
“I want to thank you,” I said, surprise showing on her face. “I’ll never forget that night. It feels really good to know you trust me that much.”
“I wasn’t sure how it would be today,” she said. “Other guys would make this really weird.”
“We’re friends, we play by our own rules. It’s nobody’s business but ours.”
She smiled, seeming relieved that nothing had changed.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one until now

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Feeling someone surrender control, wanting me to carry them outside of their comfort zone, while still trusting me to make them feel safe and comfortable.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? My partner was afraid of how other people would react if they found out what happened, so I never got a chance to discuss things with her. I hope she’s in a satisfying relationship and not a constricting one.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I began seeking out casual sex much less often after this because it’s never fulfilling without a palpable connection between partners.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Sex is a Ferris Wheel in a roller coaster park. The lamest ride there is unless you’re sitting with the right (or right kind of) person.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Anything that helps people approach sexuality in more healthy ways is worth the time to invest.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!