What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 58
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New York
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Actor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 33 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a curvy woman with long brown hair. I had hooked up in college with other women, but this woman was new. A mutual friend introduced us. She sat on my lap on a car ride to my friend’s apartment earlier that day, even though we hadn’t met before. I was aroused and very attracted to her.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After my friend dropped the woman off at her apartment, we want back to his place to chat and I told me friend that I’d rather sleep with this woman instead of on my friend’s couch. He suggested that I call her. I did and told her that I’d like to sleep with her. Felt very bold to say that. She asked me to come over.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? At her apartment, we spent a lot of time kissing and then undressed each other. I went down on her, as I enjoyed doing that with previous partners who had enjoyed it. While I was kissing her clit, she said, “I want you to fuck me.” We began to have intercourse and I was very excited and she could sense that. She said, “I don’t want you to come yet.” I told her, “I’m in no rush and we can do this all night.” We fucked for a long time. After she came twice, I did and we stayed in each other’s arms. She said “I knew that you wouldn’t disappoint me” and she kissed me. It felt really good to hear that.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we slept together and showered each other the next morning before we parted ways as we were heading in opposite directions across the country. She was going to see her long distance boyfriend and I was going to see my long distance girlfriend (a relationship that ended before I met my wife). She told me that she would tell her boyfriend about our experience and that it would turn him on. I felt great about this woman the next day, and still do.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I later talked about this experience with a couple of close friends, including our mutual friend. Also discussed this experience many years later with a teacher in a human sexuality class and also with a therapist.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We both wanted to have sex with each other. We were both attracted to each other. We both knew it was a one night stand. We were both satisfied and also enjoyed sleeping together after having sex.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing bad at all.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Thinking about the experience many years later, it makes me think that monogamy is really a bit unnatural. I’m glad to have the memory of this and other past experiences.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I sometimes think about this woman and this experience when I masturbate…still a great memory.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I sometimes wish that my wife, who I love dearly, would be more experimental and into casual sex with others. I’m not quite sure though if this is just a fantasy of mine or something that I’d like us to act on.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? This is my first experience with the project, having just read about it today in a magazine. I’ve only read one other person’s story, which I found exciting.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!