What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Financial Professional
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
One Night Stand On Business Trip
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was traveling for business in Chicago and would be flying back the next day. My husband and I have had a somewhat open relationship for the past few years. Though there had never been any issues with this or fights about it, my husband expressed the desire to be monogamous again and I told him I would respect his wishes. On this last night in town, my co-workers and I had gone out drinking and had a great time. I arrived back at the hotel around 11 and still felt ready for fun, but I tried to settle down and watch TV. There was nothing good on, and so I looked around the Internet a bit but still couldn’t fall asleep. Although I had never done this before, I took a look at craigslist casual encounters and decided to make a post to find someone to cuddle with. After weeding through an infinite number of dick pics, I found someone who seemed intelligent, respectful, and was reasonably attractive to me. After exchanging e-mails and pictures, he came to my room at the hotel. I’m reasonably attractive and was wearing a simple black nightgown and leggings. He was 25 and looked much better in person than the pictures. He had blonde hair, very nice eyes, was in good shape, and taller than I expected. He seemed quiet, thoughtful, and well-spoken. I was very nervous, but at one point, I noticed that he was shaking. We both admitted that this was the first time we’d ever met someone off of Craigslist.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We got to know each other for about half an hour, then turned out the lights and laid down. We cuddled up, face to face, and I touched his hair which was amazing. He smelled amazing, too. I made inane small talk because I’m a nervous talker and silence makes me uncomfortable. He pressed against me a bit while we held each other, but we had already talked about our expectations and I had mentioned that I wasn’t looking for sex, so he didn’t push it and was very respectful. We brushed our teeth at some point because I could tell that I smelled like wine and didn’t want to gross him out. We held each other some more, then he fell asleep, but I was a weird mixture of turned on, excited, and exhausted. I turned towards him and asked him if he wanted to kiss, he said he did, and it went from there.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was unprepared for how he kissed. It was much softer and more formless than I was used to. At first, I thought it was weird, but then I just realized it was different and start to get into it. I started to Think about how it would feel on my breasts and decided to take my shirt off. He was totally into it and began to lick, suck, and bite my nipples. He asked if he could take his shirt off, too, because he was very communicative about consent, which I really liked. I loved the feeling of his dick pressed up against my thigh through his boxer briefs. I was very turned on and asked if I could touch him. I began to stroke him, and he began to touch me as well. I was incredibly wet and told him what I wanted as he touched and fingered me. He asked to go down on me, and I said yes, but then I got embarrassed because I realized I hadn’t paid any attention to grooming. I was worried that, as someone younger than me, he would expect fully shaved or something like that, and I’m more of a “trim” sort of person. I initiated 69 so I would feel less “on the spot” and laid beside him and we gave each other oral sex. He asked me if I wanted him to tell me when he was going to come, and I said he didn’t need to worry about it. At one point I was so turned on, I told him I really wanted him to fuck me, but he didn’t have a condom with him, so we continued to have oral sex. He came in my mouth and after I return from the bathroom, he offered to help me finish. I declined because I was too shy. He was the big spoon for the rest of the night, and I felt so comfortable.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We talked about what a cool experience that was and said goodbye in the morning. I had a little trouble signaling that he should leave, and it took me saying “it was great meeting you, I had a lot of fun” to get him to leave. I would have hung out with him longer, but I needed to check it and get to the office. I knew I would never see him again, we didn’t exchange numbers. I felt euphoric for the rest of the day and did wish I could meet up with him again.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No intercourse
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I alluded to it with my close friend but didn’t discuss in detail.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I mostly don’t, but this is the first time I’ve ever kept something from my husband and I feel terrible about that.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being with him, feeling so much desire in both sides
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Going behind my husband’s back, I have never lied/omitted truth to him before
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it was a great example of how clear and enthusiastic consent can be sexy. We checked with each other at each stage and it only served to make things better. It also made me realize that I’m pretty self-conscious about my body and that’s maybe something I should work on so that it doesn’t inhibit my pleasure in the future.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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