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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Stay home mom
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60-70
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? O

One Of A Kind

How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 years

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met online, texted for a couple of days /weeks before meeting in person at a party. He had long hair, pretty thin but muscled. I really liked him and I was interested in dating him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The first time we hooked up, I don’t think there was actual sex. I was living with my parents at the time & I was not allowed to have men in my bedroom. We left the party and went back to my place. I wasn’t intending to do more than talk and maybe kiss because I really liked him.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We sat on the grass outside of my house under a blanket, we made out, and he fingered me. He seemed really into it and I was very into him. We stayed out until the wee hours of the morning and then he left. Hands down he was the best lover I’ve ever had.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We “dated” off and on for a couple of years. He loved going down on me. I remember him begging me to let him eat me out on more than one occasion. He didn’t seem to care about getting off himself, he just loved getting me naked and worshipping my body. I was madly in love with him. We rarely had actual intercourse. After about 5 years he came clean to me that he was an addict and that was why our “relationship” never worked out.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Meth

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Girlfriends, they were happy for me and jealous lol

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? Because I can’t get over him.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Oral!

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Falling for someone unattainable.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me more confident in my body.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Like I said, “this hookup” refers to the relationship in general, and every sexual encounter I had with this dude.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I was raised to believe that you don’t have sex before marriage. While I can respect that some people like and agree with that method, my personal feeling is that you should always have sex with the people you are dating before things get serious. You want to know if you’re sexually compatible.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I don’t know

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!