What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Freelance Translator
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? More than 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Online to Offline
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He looked like an awkward nerdy type, but he isn’t. I have always been attracted to the artsy type, and he is that and much more. He was an African-American currently living and traveling in the Southeast Asian region, and we met online, on a dating website. We talked for a while a year before, lengthy stimulating conversations, but didn’t actually meet because he was living in another country at the time. A year later, he sent me a message saying that he was coming to where I was, and would love to have a drink. I have always wondered whether we would ever meet, and was extremely pleased that we were going to.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at a bar in the center of my city. We had drinks, we talked, we listened to live music, we danced. After five hours of talking and dancing and having the best time ever, we took a walk around the neighborhood at 3 AM. We talked some more, we held hands. It was easily one of the best moments of my casual dating experiences. We then went stumbling back to his hotel room. I think both of us felt really connected that night, so sex was an inevitable ending to a pleasant night.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We ordered pizza, we watched TV, and we groped each others bodies. I started to unbutton his pants, and he ran his fingers on my bare skin. We fucked slowly, with him on top, beside, and behind me. He was incredibly understanding and he kept asking if I was comfortable and if there was anything he can do to amplify the pleasure I was having. I did the same. We exchanged crass remarks and expressed how good every thrust was, how good it felt when he sucked on my breasts, or how good it was when we both came at the same time.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We slept side-by-side and had breakfast in the morning. We went for coffee in the afternoon, and he met my friends. They got along very well. He stayed in my city for a week, and we kept realizing how compatible we were each passing day. He had to leave in the end. We kept texting for a few weeks, but it eventually stopped too. I knew it was inevitable, but I was hoping it could’ve become something more than just a short summer fling. However, people change, and if we met today or tomorrow, even I can’t be sure if we could pick up where we left off.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That it was short, sweet, and emotionally and sexually pleasing.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That we had to part before seeing where it could go.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I didn’t expect us to be that compatible and connected with each considering we had only met that day. I had never slept with someone on the day I met them, so it was a new experience. I’m glad it went really well, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s very interesting and I hope everything goes well!
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