Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Relationship status: Very Single
Religious affiliation: Raised Catholic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Oops.. I Stained the Floor
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 Year
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One Night Stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is super tall, and really really skinny. He is old, but looks older. Kind of classic punk rock, he still rocks a high pompadour and spends more time on his hair than I ever have. I didn’t really know him well. We had met before a handful of times, through my ex-boyfriend. They both frequented the same bar, that I came to frequent through dating my ex-boyfriend. I didn’t feel any particular way towards him. He always seemed nice, and he and my ex-boyfriend would talk about great music all the time.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was actually the night that my boyfriend broke me up. I had gone to our bar, and was getting (too) drunk. He happened to be there and we started to talk. I progressively got very drunk, and told him about the horrible break up I had gone through earlier in the day. If this guy was hitting on me, I was not picking up on the signs, as I’ve always been terrible at noticing that, and alcohol just makes me more oblivious. He offered to smoke me out. In my distraught state, I should have just gone home and slept off the shots, but instead, I took him up on the offer. He instigated everything.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got to his house and he started to pick out a record to play. His record collection was extensive, so I was sitting on the ground, cross-legged, looking through it. It was somewhere between 10-15 minutes of getting to his house that I leaned over, and puked bright orange on his white carpet floor. Puking has never been a good experience for me, so I was in tears, laying next to the bright orange mess. He said it was all fine, and cleaned it up as I crawled into his bed and began to fall asleep. I was woken up, I don’t know how much longer by him kissing me. I was still drunk and pretty down, so I didn’t really care what was happening or going to happen. I wasn’t into it, but I wasn’t denying it. The sexual activity was strictly vaginal sex. I didn’t have an orgasm. He did. The sex was awful. He was kind toward me, if not slightly unconcerned with if I got off. We didn’t talk about anything. He finished and immediately fell asleep. I fell back asleep at this point. In the morning he drove me home. We didn’t talk about it.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? He wore a condom. I’m on birth control.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was extremely distraught and drunk. I was convinced that I was the reason that my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, that I wasn’t worth being with. This led me to not really care about the circumstances of that night or how I would feel in the morning. I was just upset with myself particularly that I didn’t care if someone took advantage of me.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? While he had invited me to smoke weed, we didn’t end up smoking. I had had at least 5 beers, and a significant number of shots. I’m completely aware of how dangerously I was drinking that night.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt ashamed. I was definitely upset that I had let it happen, especially with someone that was friends with my ex-boyfriend. I hoped not to run into him again for a while, mostly because I didn’t want him to think that I had wanted that or that it would be repeated ever again. Of course, since we frequent the same bar, it was hard to avoid him. He and I are okay now, he still makes me uncomfortable when he is drunk, he gets touchy, though he isn’t pushy. I have since been very forceful with him in expressing my dissatisfaction with the situation and I have made it abundantly clear that we will never hook up again. We leave our encounters strictly to the public bar.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t tell anyone for a while, because I didn’t want it to get back to my ex-boyfriend. I have since shared it with my best friend. His reaction was that I had been raped and that I should be more upset. I expressed to him however, that while I was certainly taken advantage of, I do not feel as though I was raped. There were a lot of factors, and I easily could have said no, and I know he would have backed off. I chose not to. I didn’t enjoy it, but I also didn’t try to stop it.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? While consensual, it certainly wasn’t wanted.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I don’t know. I don’t really like that I had sex with him. I’m not attracted to him in that sense, and I never have been. I also feel that I in someway betrayed my ex-boyfriend, and myself at the time. But it was also a learning experience for me that makes it hard thing to regret.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The whole hookup was just not good, but it really made me change my view of myself. I realized after that I can’t just idly allow things that I don’t want to happen. No matter how bad I am feeling about myself, I have to have an opinion, because I certainly will later, when I’m out of my rut. It has been a year since that instance and I have since engaged in casual sex, with great success. I changed the way I looked at it. I looked at it as something to just “go with” cause why not? But since, I have learned that it is a tool. That you can please yourself without having to have an unwanted relationship. I am currently in a wonderful “friends-with-benefits” situation that is easy, and comforting, and allows for an honest sexual relationship. I have learned what I do and do not like in sex, and I have learned to voice both of these.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
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